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General Discussion => Admins 4 Admins => Topic started by: cocookie on July 15, 2003, 07:12:16 pm



Title: Trying to be nice, but I may not make it!!!
Post by: cocookie on July 15, 2003, 07:12:16 pm
How do you handle the office bit** (rhymes with itch)?  No matter what I do she has some snappy, snide retort that, bottom line, translates to, "I know what I'm doing and you don't."  I've only been with this company for a short time, so some of those little love letters are truly helpful to me, but it's the tone that just sets me off.  Like on my 1st week on the job when she faxed me a note that began "FOR THE SECOND TIME ----" in 1-inch high lettering.

Yesterday the BIG bossie asked me to copy a flyer from a professional organization and overnight it to selected VP's.  Of course I did as he asked.

Today I got an e-mail from "Betty the Bit**" saying that her boss is on the mailing list for this same organization so, "it is safe to say that you don't need to send him any information from this group."

I want to reply, "Just doing what bossie told me to do -- as I always will."

My better judgement tells me to just totally ignore her e-mail.

What would you do?  I want to be professional and I truly want to get along with this person but right now I am screaming inside.



Title: Re: Trying to be nice, but I may not make it!!!
Post by: Judy Loux on July 15, 2003, 07:19:45 pm
Is it possible that you are reading something into her e-mails that really is not there.  It is very hard to ascertain the mood of the sender when you receive an e-mail.  She may feel she is being helpful and you ar reading it all wrong.  That's why I would rather have a face to face talk than receive an e-mail, although my friends do call me the e-mail Queen.

'Then again I could be wrong.  Just grin and bear it.  That will show what a good person you really are.

DDiva



Title: Re: Trying to be nice, but I may not make it!!!
Post by: mlm668 on July 15, 2003, 07:20:59 pm
How about a nice sweet thank you note that also asks if there are any other organizations he is on the mailing list for so you can leave him off the list when bossie makes this request again (and he will)?

That will let her know you were doing what you were asked and take some of the wind out of her sails too.

Michelle


Title: Re: Trying to be nice, but I may not make it!!!
Post by: chris68 on July 15, 2003, 08:26:15 pm
I love Michelle's response.  Yes, it would take the wind out of her sails and you would be very polite and let her know, yes, you are a professional doing what is requested by your boss.  Ever hear the ole saying kill em with kindness?  Goes a long way!

Chris68
Peer Moderator


Title: Re: Trying to be nice, but I may not make it!!!
Post by: cocookie on July 15, 2003, 09:08:20 pm
OK, I've had my lunch and time to breathe.  I'm calm now.

I've read your responses and I completely agree that it is often easy to misinterpret the tone of e-mails, or notes on fax covers.

As tempting as it is to use Michelle's response I think I'll back off this time; I sent a similar reply to a different issue awhile back and it only lead to another nasty comment from her -- and that one was a very direct statement that could not have been interpreted in any other way.

Right now while I am calm I am going to ignore her and tomorrow it will all be forgotten.  It's wonderful what time and a little bit of venting can accomplish.

Thanks for your help!



Title: Re: Trying to be nice, but I may not make it!!!
Post by: grandcaymandreamer on July 16, 2003, 01:26:12 am
dat's some good advice

and some smart tinkin' on your part

give it time

give it space

and remember, she only gets unda your skin 'cause she knows she can

breathe
breathe
breathe

use whateva relaxation techniques work for ya, and know that she tries so hard to get unda your skin because she's so unhappy