PA and Secretary Community - Deskdemon.com

Ladies and gents,



If you can provide any insight into this I would appreciate it.  Before I start, I'm looking for what *I* can do to handle this better.  For the life of me I can't figure out what it is about me that I am in this situation, but since everyone treats me the same way, I figure it's gotta be me doing something wrong.



OK we have an office in Chicago and one here in Daytona.  Our sales/marketing team is here, and the corporate guys are there.  The CMO and sales manager are here, both my bosses. . . the COO and CEO are there, and I have to report to both.  (Already this is a problem because the three CXO's can't decide who is in charge!)



The main things that really stress me out:

1.  conflicting orders from the same level of authority

2.  constant oversight of anything I'm doing



1.  The COO and CMO can't stand each other, and each of them tries to take away part of the work of the other.  Unfortunately, each of them tries to bypass the other by going through ME.  My solution is to basically copy everyone on any emails, and since the CMO hired me I do what he says.  And when anyone else asks for anything else, I try to clear it through him.  (He's not always in the office and not very reliable, but I am getting better at tracking him down and, if all else fails, either tabling something or making a pretty good judgment call on what should and should not be done.  I can also go to the CEO, but that's a bit prickly because in my eyes it looks like I'm running around my boss, which I don't ever want to do.)  I have sat down with the three of them in a conference call, but honestly they will tell me one thing in front of each other and do something else when we're off the phone.  The CEO says to tell him if anyone is trying to do this, and then he turns around and does it himself.  It's to the point where my sales manager (who is technically my immediate boss) is doing the same thing.  



2.  When I get assignments, I very specifically ask for a deadline and when someone would like an update.  I am careful to get clear objectives and report in regularly on what's going on.  However, in spite of anything I say or however I report it, EVERONE (all four of above mentioned) wants to ask me how it's going at least 4 times a day.  I am not kidding, we got new software Monday and I am trying to work out how to use it and get it working, and I got no fewer than 8 emails and 2 phone calls Monday alone asking if it was working yet.  Tuesday I sent out three emails with updates and still got quizzed every couple hours.  I try to explain that I spend so much time reporting that I don't have time to do what it is I'm reporting on. . . . still no luck.  Help?  :-)



I have asked a couple times, flat out, is there a problem with my work or my work ethic that everyone feels the need to be up in my business all the time, and everyone assures me that I am great.  My worry is, though, if I'm so great and consistently have everything together, then what's the deal with the constant nagging?  If anyone has any insight I would appreciate it.  Leaving this job isn't something in my immediate future, but I'm going to reconsider my future plans after my six month review.  I really do want to stay here and work it out, but all my best relaxation and destressing efforts aren't helping.



Thanks

shannon

Shannon, mate, that's a toughie, although I am glad to see you are being a true professional and starting to address this problem with something under your control - yourself.

No doubt Ms Robbie or Andrea or someone will pop along in a bit and give you wonderful advice. I've been reading your post carefully and *I* want to bang their heads together! I can't see through this to a solution except for possibly scheduling five minutes for each of them twice a day - but that seems so excessive! How on earth to you get someone to let you be proactive instead of reactive? I know by now that I would have said *something* to them - and probably regretted it afterwards!

Anyway, best of luck.

I don't have any advice, because Andrea or Robbie usually has the answer (not kidding either).  I do, however, want to lend a shoulder of support to you and give you a hand *insert golf-clap here* for handling this so professionally.  I would have flipped out on all my bosses by this time.  I would have called a general meeting and laid down the law that I don't need 4 people on my back because I can't hold myself up with them back there.  Micro-managers that are paranoid of each other can sure kill a positive work attitude. I only hope there is more information out there for your from others.  But to be honest with you, I don't think it's you.  From what you're stating, you're keeping EVERYONE in the loop, and they still aren't satisfied. It's them, not you, rest assured. Were they in business before you got there, these 4 nutty chiefs?  I'm sure they've done this to more Indians than you. Please take a deep breath, a cup of tea, a Yoga class and when the rest of the board members get into their offices, I'm sure someone will have the right advice for you.  Sorry I couldn't be more help than that, but best of wishes to you.

Thanks Liz.



What I didn't add above, is when I said something on Tuesday after what felt like the fifteenth check in, the sales manager told ME to chill out.  I didn't yell at the CMO or anything, but expressed my frustration (fairly calmly, I thought) and explained again about how if I spend more time reporting........yada yada..........he asked if I wanted the IT guy to look into it while I was out Weds, and I said I honestly didn't care who looked at it, as long as it got fixed.  I'm the one who needs to chill out.......hmmm, OK................................



shannon

I actually have gotten everyone on the phone and said



Look, here is my list, I need priorities, and SOMEONE needs to be in charge because I can't go in three different directions and make progress in ANY Of them.  Like I said, they all agreed on the phone and as soon as we hung up each of them called me individually (no I am not kidding) and basically said, well that was fine but here's how it really is.



*sniff*



Well I'm OK on the deep breath and tea. . . no time for yoga until after work LOL  But thenks.

Manipultion is an ugly thing and you my friend are getting a royal dose of it. I've thought about your post for a few minutes in order to avoid my gut reaction which was to tell you to dust off your resume and get the heck out of dodge.



First,  you are attempting to walk a tightrope that's being continually twanged by the powers above you. Your arms flail and you're fighting to keep your balance, and JUST when you begin to stablize someone comes along and twangs that sucker again, just to watch you dance.  Stop it.  Do NOT allow this backbiting to affect your ability to do your job.  Which ever person hired you may or may NOT be your boss.  Determine who YOUR actual boss is and work for that individual.  And begin redirecting those conflicting orders.



Once you've figured out who your actual boss is, scedule a meeting.  Explain that you're being pulled in two directions and that you are not productive because of it. Further explain how you intend to handle the situation AND ask for input, but stand your ground.  A "too bad that's the way it is around here" response will tell you whether you really DO need to dust off that resume.



When boss 2 gives you orders contrary to boss 1, redirect him/her.  "Im sorry Joe, but Pete has me working on this.  If you'd like to clear this with him, I'm sure i can find a way to accomodate you" Be calm and watch the body language while making this statement.  This needs to be the most bland, non accusatory statement you've EVER made in your life and even so, it's going to cause you problems.



There's a power struggle going on here and you are caught firmly in the middle of it, and trouble is,, even though you've attempted to set things right, you ARE playing the game,whether you like to admit it or not.  You're trying to make everyone happy in order to preserve your job, and Shannon, it won't work.  We can not make everyone happy all the time, no matter how badly we want to, and everyone will NOT like us, no matter how hard we try to make them do it.



Let go of some of the stress, decide that you ARE a professional and fully capable of letting go of this job if bossies don't get their ducks in a row and get that resume out to a few agencies so that you KNOW you have options.



Feeling trapped is no place of power and you need to find some personal power here, or decide that you WANT to be a pawn in a silly, non productive game of "Im in charge of the Admin".



My four  and a half pence

Andrea



 

Yeah, what she said! The best of British to you, Shannon(1). From here you sound like an administrative professional, never mind what the ratbags are making you *feel*.

BTW, have you notice that Andrea is suffering from inflation? It used to be "my two pence..."

(1) Strong tea, cold weather and yorkshire pudding.

 

My goodness, what a predicament!  I certainly don't envy you right now!



Have you tried humor (not with "them" -- they're hopeless! - but with yourself?).  Now, stick with me here for a minute.  It's a bit unconventional, I know, but I've used this myself several times and it usually works for me.



Decide in your mind which cartoon character represents each of your bosses (or those who THINK they're your boss!) For instance:

Bossie number one -- Popeye

Bossie number two -- Pigpen

Bossie number three -- Mighty Mouse

Bossie number four -- Batman

You, of course, are Pearl Pureheart.



Now, imagine that all four of them are vying for the attention of Ms. Pureheart.  Each one tries to outboss the other in any way possible, usually by inflating their own importance to you.  You, being incredibly wise and all-knowing, see through this ruse every time.  When one of them bugs you about a project, you smile sweetly, say "why OF COURSE I'm working on it" and then picture yourself hurling a cream pie right at his smug little face!" (I would suggest, however, that you keep a straight face until he turns away!!!).  When he's out of earshot, you can then laugh till you cry!!



Periodically, picture the four of them (in character, of course) slugging it out to prove who's in charge.  (All the while knowing that YOU are in charge!).  In the middle of their dogfight, you walk up, smile sweetly again, and tell them how glad you are that they're working things out among themselves in such a productive manner.  Then go back reality (out of earshot of course) laugh hysterically to release any built-up tension.



No, this won't change their attitudes.  Nothing you say or do will change them (you've already tried, and it didn't work, right??).  The only thing you CAN change about this situation is YOUR attitude and how you react to it.  None of them are going to stop trying to make you believe that they are the only one you have to answer to.  Each already believes in his heart that you are his "personal assistant" and you only work for the others because he allows it.  So you have to treat each of them as though there is only one of them, yes them to death, and then do the work in your own timeframe.  Perhaps work on each bossie's project for half an hour at a time.  That way, when they ask how it's coming, you can honestly say you're working on it and it should be completed "in a little while."  I know you'd rather work on one project until it's completed, but realistically that very seldom happens, even in a "healthy" office.



If all else fails, I have a cousin in New York who has "family" connections . . .  



 

Oh you all are great!  LOL @ Pearl Pureheart.



Andrea........meeting with all bosses or meeting with the real boss?  I actually know who this is, believe it or not.  LOL  It's of course the least forceful partner in the trio but I know who it is.  (Definitely the CMO, in case anyone is wondering.)



Energizer........now I'm singing the Mighty Mouse song and thinking of Andy Kaufman.  You are a baaaaaaaaad influence ;-)



Here I come to save the day......................



shannon

Well, everyone's given such good ideas, it's hard to add anything.  I do like the idea of meeting with each of your "chiefs" on a regular basis so you can swing each of them back on track.  And I especially like Energizer's words of advice because they offer some stress relief, which you obviously need.



Your situation reminds me a bit of the game badminton, and you, my dear, are the "shuttlecock" (see illustration!) www.m-w.com/mw/art/shuttlec.htm.  The whole idea for your people is to score points, and they don't care if you get caught in the net everytime they try to slam you "home" for the point, well, that's too bad.  Sure does sound like you're "in the net" quite a bit.  



Your mission (if you should choose to accept it) is to refuse to be the "shuttlecock" and make everyone play nice and keep the game going.  I can't really tell you more than what's already been posted.  Just use TAA to vent, take a breath, and go back into the game a little fresher and more resilient.  As long as you keep in mind that you're the adult here (obviously) and act accordingly, you'll be able to make it until you reach your six-months turning point.  Then see if things are better or worse, and if you can live with it or not.



Good luck, and please count on everyone here to give you a push when you need it.



Robbie

Thanks Robbie.



Hmmm, gives a whole new meaning to "look at the birdie"  LOL



I appreciate everyone's advice, and I'm going to put together a plan of attack this weekend.  Right now, though, I'm feeling pretty rough (unrelated--either I'm catching a bug or this new diet my doc put me on is NOT feeling good) so I'm just going to get through today and get on with the weekend.



Happy Friday and thanks again



Shannon

My input...for what it's worth...



I would put together an outline for a discussion to be held at the time of your 6-month rating.  If that is the deadline you are waiting for to decide whether to stay or go, then be prepared to go in there and lay it on the line.  Have your problems, arguments, documentation, etc.. all lined up and ready to go when bossie (CMO?) asks you to see him regarding your rating.  Then while you have his attention, discuss the problems, show him examples and documentation and let him know how you're feeling.  Tell him that you're getting stressed, it's causing you to be less productive than you could be for them all if they'd back off, and that you are not able to give them the quality of work that you would like to unless this changes.  And possibly (this is a decision you have to make yourself) let him know that unless things change you may find it necessary to look elsewhere.  (If this is an option, I would suggest following Andrea's advice and already have your resume in at places, maybe have some leads so that you have the strength and power to stand behind your convictions.)

I know you said that your immediate boss is the least forceful of the group but maybe this would make him take notice.  In the meantime, follow all the great advice from the other posters, check back and vent here, and feel free to pull up a chair and cry tears of frustration whenever necessary.

Glad it's not me working there.  I have 2 bosses, however one is my direct supervisor and everyone in the office knows I work for him first.  You need to have someone to be your direct supervisor.  I would think then that a lot of your problems would end.  Maybe that's a little wishful thinking on my part.  How do you get reviewed - all of them sit around in a conference room and decide on your fate/raise/promotion?  That sounds scary to me.

CMO=Chief Marketing Officer.  :-)  I am the Sales and Marketing Coordinator.



~s

Oh boy...........



I just said no to the CEO.    



Not in so many words. . . I was very polite and as neutral as my voice can be and I simply answered his questions and stated the facts as I see them. . . and you know the facts are that "CMO gave me this project, so when I was finished I reported everything to him and I am confident that he will pass any information along to anyone who needs it."  In fact that's more forceful than I was.  But no, I'm not going to play your game, and I'm not going to go behind my boss's back, and I'm not going to go between the two of you.  I was polite but firm. . . and I pissed the CEO off.



So I let real bossie/CMO know what happened as an FYI because I know the CEO's next move is to call my boss.



(In best Mighty Mouse voice)  Here I come to save the day.................. ;-)



 



Shannon

Where in that did you say no?  What were you saying no to?  THat's a little unclear.  But yes, you were polite but firm and I don't see why that should piss him off.

Sorry Yankee........it's sort of complicated but I said no to one of the Other chiefs (who is not my boss).  The no was to his request to continually redo this thing until it's to his standard.  I wish I could convey the whole convo here but it's a bit difficult.  More than an out-and-out NO I stood my ground and just kept referring him back to my boss. . . . neutral voice (no body language per se on the phone) . . . the whole deal.  (Andrea sure is training us well on that one, huh?)



I'm going to go back and re read and perhaps edit my post to see if I can make it clearer.  As if anything in this company could possibly be clear or simple.  



Thanks

Shannon

Way to go Shannon... Look forward to hear what, if any, ramifications comes from this stand.  Sounds like you did just what needed to be done, and will probably need to be done many more times before they all catch on.  I just hope that bossie (CMO) stands behind you and agrees that you were correct in your handling of the situation.  You had said he wasn't as forceful as the others but maybe after hearing about your stance he'll take one too.



Good luck and keep us informed...

Today's non-drama



CEO had to mention it again today.  The power struggle is still in hand, and right now it's a case of "methinks the lady doth protest too much" or whatever that quote was.  I certainly didn't bring it up again after yesterday morning.



Bossie has not said anything to me, but he had a REALLY BAD DAY yesterday.  I encouraged him to go home and take a walk on the beach (yeah, bossie lives beachfront) and he said that's exactly what he was going to do.  Hopefully that helped.  Anyway, usually if something is a big deal he will make it a point to talk about it.  *shrug*  We shall see.



In the meantime I have a sales/marketing department to support and that's what I'm'a gonna do.  ;-)



Shannon

 

Found out from bossie that after that last incident the CEO did in fact call him. Complained about me, said I was pissed off and he didn't know why, yada yada yada.



You know what my boss said?



Get off of her back, she's doing her job just as I expect her to, and if you have any performance issues with her bring them to me and I'll handle.



CEO says "but I'm the CEO."



Bossie says "OK you are, but this is in my territory and I will take care of it. Now lay off."



 



This is a pretty cool deal, at least for today! Had to share with y'all.



Happy Tuesday

Shannon  

WOO WOO WOO !  Way to go bossie!  Shannon, you have a keeper here!  Hang on to this guy!



Thanks for Sharing.

OUTSTANDING>  Girl stand up for self, girl finds ally in boss,, FILM AT 11!



Keep us apprised Crafty! this made MY Day for sure!



Andrea

Hello everybody from Cool New York,



We are in the midst of a snowstorm and the day is slow. But not here at this site.



I think the feedback is awesome and can't add anything else.  I had a similar situation with 4 lawyers (junior level to senior level).  How I dealt with it was similar to Andrea's response.  



Gotta run.  One of the few in the office today and their playing tag team attack.



I love the site and will be back!





 

Dang it just when I thought I was making headway.



Today's order from bossie:  Do whatever CEO wants, I'm tired of fighting with him.



And back and forth we go............



I continue on my action of reporting directly to bossie and cc'ing CEO because that seems to be the happiest option so far.  I still report everything to bossie, CEO still knows what's going on............



I'm getting the feeling there's no good way out of this one here.  Good news is, I'm getting a car with my tax refund and next step is to brush off the resume and see what happens.  *sigh*  At least I'm not feeling stuck any more.



Thanks everyone, I'll try to keep the drama to a minimum on the boards here.



Shannon

who isn't feeling very crafty right now ;-)

Sorry, Crafty, to hear that. If it helps *hugs* and *smack in the back with a snowball*.  We got plenty here, want some?

Hey Shannon,



Bless you for keeping your wits as long as you have!  You're taking the right tack, and just roll with it as long as you can...let "new car/new job" be you mantra, if you think that's your best option!  And forum lamenting is perfectly acceptable.  It's one of the reasons we're here!  Hang in there, kiddo!



Daisy

Oh boy, this is fun............



My crew (the sales staff, all three of them) overheard bossie (CMO) playing a voice mail from Chicago (CEO) last week that said, basically, "if we don't make some major sales next week at the trade show, we will probably close down FL offices within a month."  Gosh, how professional of him to listen to his voicemail on SPEAKER when he knows his office isn't soundproof because I come back there and close his door all the time.  (He frequently has what we call F*** you calls with Chicago.  HAHAHAHahahohum.  Anyway I can hear them three offices away and go back and close his door.  We have also repeatedly told him that he can be overheard anytime he's on the phone.)



So I have dusted off the resume and started looking for staffing places around here.  I need a car, though, because most jobs that pay what I'm making are at least 30 minutes away.  I am very much tempted to just stick it out here and see what happens at the trade show--and take the unemployment for a short time if necessary.  What the hey, whatever happens I have lots of good skills and will find something else if necessary.  Thanks to everyone here for listening and for the awesome advice.



Shannon