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Title: Bush vs. Kringle Post by: tlc2559 on December 22, 2000, 11:38:43 am IN THE MATTER OF BUSH V. KRINGLE
AUSTIN, Tx (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh. The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification." "There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking over and over again must stop now," said former Secretary James Baker. Baker further claimed that unnamed GOP observers witnessed an elf remove all boys named Justin from the 'nice' list, filing them under 'naughty' instead because "everyone knows all boys named Justin are brats." Gov. Bush cited the potential for unauthorized list tampering, and blasted what he called the "crazy, crazy mess up there at the North Pole. Their security is really awful, really bad," said Bush. "My mother just walked right in, told 'em she was Mrs. Claus. They didn't check her ID or nothing." Meanwhile, Dick Cheney, Gov. Bush's running mate, issued a direct plea to St. Nick himself. "Mr. Claus, I call on you to do the honorable thing, and quit checking your list. The children of the world have had enough. They demand closure now," Cheney said, adding that his granddaughter has already selected a name for the pony she's asked for. The Rev. Jesse Jackson was quick to respond to this latest development with plans to lead his protesters from Florida to the North Pole via dogsled. The "Million Man Mush" is scheduled to leave Friday. "We need red suits and sleighs, not law suits and delays," Jackson said. Santa Claus could not be reached for comment, but a spokeself said he was "deeply distressed" by news of the pending legal action against him. "He's losing weight, and he hasn't said 'Ho Ho' for days," said the spokeself. "He's just not feeling jolly. Title: Re: Bush vs. Kringle Post by: energizer on December 23, 2000, 12:59:47 pm I'm all for freedom of expression. And I would never seek to criticize anyone for their choice of political candidate for any office. But was this post really necessary? I'm sure it was meant as a joke, but enough already. The election is over and done. Give it a rest. My candidate didn't get elected either, but now I give my full support and loyalty to our new president-elect. As an American citizen, I am honor-bound to do no less.
Title: Re: Bush vs. Kringle Post by: msrobbie on December 23, 2000, 02:57:34 pm Hey guys,
I'm sure everyone knows the original post is humor, and it is a lot more clever than most I have seen (and I've seen a bunch of them). But maybe Energizer has a point, too. Perhaps this website is not a productive place for political discussion. This particular forum was added because there were a number of political posts, both serious and humorous, being added to various boards. So, to give everyone the option to either read or not read comments that fall in the political catagory, this forum was created. Now that this most unusual election and its aftermath have settled down, do we really need this forum on this site? What do you think? I'm sure our recent election uproar is either amusing or boring to our non-United States members. Is it time to dump this forum? Would you all make some abbreviated comments regarding your opinion about having a political forum on this site? I'm sure Andrea, northcarolina, and I would be very interested in what everyone thinks. Looking forward to your comments . . . Robbie Title: Re: do we need this board? Post by: craftygirl on December 28, 2000, 02:54:46 pm Well I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, it's cool to have a place to discuss this sort of topic. OTOH, I belong to no fewer than 4 Libertarian clubs at yahoo and there's plenty of discussion there. I can't separate my political views from who I am, but I can choose when and where to talk about them. Considering the fact that there is a financial issue here (these boards aren't free) and that really no website can be all things to any group of people, I hesitantly agree with Robbie and Chris that, to paraphrase one of our nation's better-known politicians, "it's time for this to go."
Shannon |