By Ken Lindner
The author of Your Killer Emotions: The 7 Steps to Mastering the Toxic Emotions, Urges, and Impulses that Sabotage You (
Greenleaf Book Group Press, January, 2013)
We all experience a wide range of emotions in the workplace. For example, we may at different times feel angry, disrespected, sad, enraged, rejected, hurt, hopeless, and/or betrayed. When you are dealing with a work-related issue and your very best judgment along with your reasoning and evaluative processes become clouded, dismantled, or hijacked by your emotions the choice and/or action you take may not be the one you really wanted to take.
There is a process and means by which you can use and reflect on to help you make sabotaging. emotion-free workplace choices. Here are some suggestions to accomplish this:
First and foremost: DO NOT make an important decision or choice when you are overcome by emotions! Always, stop, cool down, and, as they say, “take the pause that refreshes.” Additionally, DO NOT opt for an immediate, emotional quick fix, response, or retaliation. Oftentimes, we opt for these short-term satisfactions, but in the big picture of our lives and careers, these unthinking, emotion-generated reactions are counter and highly detrimental to accomplishing what we truly want for our careers in the long term (our Gold Ring Dreams).
ALWAYS strategically identify what you truly want in and from the choice you’re going to make. This means that you must know what you truly value the very most before you make your choice. This way, you will make a well-thought-out choice that reflects and effects your most treasured values and goals.
If talking to a colleague or superior can enable you to effect a positive resolution to the issue at hand, make sure that the timing and setting are right, so that what you say is well-received and resonates with that individual. There is always a time and place for everything. The key when trying to make the most beneficial life choice possible is to astutely intuit what the right time, place, and context is to take a particular action.
Be “Consequence Cognizant.” This requires you to carefully think about and vividly visualize:
A.) The most severe and heinous consequences that a poor/destructive emotionally-charged choice on your part can have on your career, your life, and those you love; and
B.) The most positive, beneficial outcome(s) that you will secure because you took the requisite time to strategically choose the most constructive course of action.If it is appropriate, try to truly understand where the other individual who is pushing your emotional buttons or evoking a potential toxic emotion-generated response from you is coming from. Strive to see things from their point of view. Chat with the person in issue, in an open and non-defensive manner. Oftentimes, learning where others are coming from brings understanding, as well as sympathy/empathy, which can diffuse and thereby lessen the strong energy charges generated by potentially toxic emotions.
Another means to diffuse your emotion-generated energy charges, is to take a moment to think about all of the blessings and positives in your life/job/career. This can help you to cool down from the angst of the moment, so that you are then better able to think clearly and strategically.
You should avoid making important workplace choices when you are tired, experiencing high levels of stress, or have had too much caffeine. Additionally, you never want to make important choices when you are under the influence of alcohol or clarity-impairing medicinal or recreational drugs. Your goal is to be cognitively clear and precise when making work-related choices. Therefore, you want to stay away from anything that can impair your cognitive processes.
Your takeaway here, is that there will be times when you will experience potentially toxic emotions in the workplace. I use the word “potentially,” because these emotions are only toxic to you and your career, if they trigger destructive and/or self-sabotaging acts on your part. What you want to do in these instances, is to not emotionally react in these situations, but to instead, strategically and constructively choose
your actions. Channel the potential negative energies that you experience into positive, career-enhancing endeavors---thereby using your emotions and their energy charges as your valuable allies
. The sweet result may well be that you will attain career gold a
s well as gain (increased) feelings of high self-esteem, self-worth, and the core-confidence to achieve your most cherished goals.
Ken Lindner graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard University, where his honor’s thesis was devoted to the science of decision-making. He later graduated from Cornell Law School, where he focused on conflict resolution. Lindner currently owns and operates the country’s premiere news and hosting representation firm, Ken Lindner and Associates, Inc. Among many of the notable individuals whose careers he has helped to develop are Matt Lauer, Lester Holt, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Mario Lopez, Robin Meade, Megyn Kelly, Sam Champion, Tom Bergeron, Shepard Smith, and Nancy O’Dell.
.com and www.kenlindner.com