How To Break Through Negativity

Negativity can make life unappealing and lose its joy. At worst it can cripple our self-believe and motivation and mean we don't fulfil our dreams. However, the negative feelings can be fought and defeated, allowing you to recapture that joy of being alive. Find out ten strategies in this article.

Ab Van Deemter

Many of us don't realise that we can be in control of our thinking processes, that in most cases we can be in charge of how we want to think. Because of frustrations about challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed, many of us have developed incredibly negative thinking patterns and these negative conceptions make it even harder to manage our challenges and move forward in our lives.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Practicing positive thinking can influence negative thinking processes. It can help us to focus on what we are good at and what we have achieved, which increases feelings of motivation and happiness. The result of this is that it reduces our feelings of being depressed or stuck, because we are moving forward in a more positive direction.

If you follow the self-motivation tips below, and use them as self-motivation exercises, you will develop self-motivation skills and will notice a shift towards more positive thinking patterns:

1. Nurture yourself

It will help you tremendously to be more positive when you look after yourself well. Eat healthily, exercise, take a nice hot bath once in a while, have a regular massage, go to the sauna once a week, make sure you rest well, etc., etc.

2. No judgements

If you learn to observe your negative thoughts as passing clouds and realise that it is your choice whether or not you attach to one of them, you don't empower them and so they can't have any power over you. We have 60,000 thoughts per day and it's entirely our choice which ones we choose to hold on to.

3. Be physical

We all know how wonderful it can feel when we get or give a hug. It's great to have warm physical contact with people we love and it's even great when we do it with our pets. It instantly gives us a warm feeling inside.

4. Find more social activity

Surround yourself with positive, happy and healthy people and get nurtured by that energy, because this will have a positive influence on you.

5. Be grateful

There is so much to be grateful for! Take some time each day to think about the things that are good in your life. Make a little list of these things on a post-it note and stick them in your diary, on your computer or on the bathroom mirror, so that you are constantly reminded. By reminding yourself of the things you are grateful for you are much more able to deal with challenges and stress issues in your life.

6. Reduce your convictions

During our life we build up all types of convictions about things. "That is not the way it should be done" or "You should have done so and so..." are two simple examples. By not delivering their messages you expand your world, so that more people and situations can enter. It makes your world a bigger and better place. Also refrain from statements like, "You always do that to me" or "You never pay attention to me." Saying things like that make situations seem worse than they are and they program your brain into believing that certain people just don't perform.

7. Speak up for yourself

From our parents and society we learn to speak in such a way as to be accepted, in order to be seen as normal. With this habit we sometimes develop a fear of not being liked or accepted and we start to assume we know what the other person thinks about us. Stop wasting your time and energy worrying over something you don't even know exists. Start talking to people and ask questions. Speak up for yourself; let them hear your voice. Remember that by speaking from your heart you start to attract whatever it is that you truly want in your life.

8. Stop assuming

Many amongst us tend to automatically have negative thoughts about certain things. "Those people are whispering; they must be talking about me," or "My boss wants to see me; that means trouble." Crush these types of negative thoughts immediately. They are nothing more than idle fancies.

9. Help other people

Each individual feels energised, warm and good about him or herself after helping another person. See how you can help people. Be a volunteer somewhere, be of help to someone or something or see how you can contribute to society any other way. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Break through the pattern of extensive worrying

If you notice you are brooding on a negative thought excessively, then interrupt that process by forcing yourself to do something completely different. Notice that you are completely focusing on something negative - something that does not serve you. At such moments you are not productive, rational and solution-oriented; you are worrying excessively for the sake of worrying. By doing something physical like picking up a book, listening to some music, going for a run or going for a walk you break through this negative-thinking spiral.

With these self-motivation tips you can start changing your negative-thinking patterns. Therefore I recommend you to have a good and conscious look at how you are presently functioning in your life and, if necessary, do some self-motivation exercises, in order to obtain the necessary self-motivation you need and want.

Ab van Deemter is a personal growth specialist. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods and mentors and teaches business owners, their staff and individuals. He can be found at

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