Answer:

Perhaps she feels like a pony, that has broken out of her stable and has been running with the thoroughbreds for the last three months. When you returned, it represented being dragged back inside the fence. Your hunch may be correct—she resents having that saddle back on.

Several factors substantiate that this is her problem, but you shouldn’t ignore the possibility that you may have inadvertently done something to cause her resentment.

For example, you appear to be a valued employee and a good supervisor. Your employers trust you and have rewarded you. You have gone out of your way to gently discover what is bothering your employee, because you care about her and want the work environment to be harmonious. And I agree with your belief that you don’t have to be liked to be effective.

Nevertheless, her sudden coolness and obvious attitude change signals that something changed while you were gone. If you confront her directly about not wanting to report to you, she will deny it, since it’s an embarrassing thing to admit to. However, some of her behavior is indeed disrespectful and discourteous.

Since you have such a good relationship with the owner’s wife and your sister-in-law, you may want to approach them individually and describe the change in behavior and ask them if they can shed any light on the reason. Ask if there was anything you may have done to cause such a reaction. If they offer no insight, it’s probably safe to assume she resents being supervised once again.

But the fact remains that she does report to you know and her behavior is inappropriate. The next time she displays an obvious sign of resentment, call her into a private area immediately. Say, “Just now, when I asked you a simple question, you rolled your eyes and gave me a look as if to say, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’ It is an example of many similar behaviors you’ve demonstrated towards me since I returned from maternity leave. What’s behind the change?” If she dodges your question and gives a short, blunt reply, say, “That kind of answer is exactly what I’m referring to. In this office, it’s important that we act like a team and respect each other enough to get the job done. You don’t have to like me but I do expect courtesy and respect.

You are a good performer and I give you plenty of independence as a result. If there is something I’ve done that has angered you, I expect you’ll be professional and tell me, so I can change it. If you have nothing to tell me, and since this behavior started when I returned from leave, I’ll have to assume you simply resent having to report to me after being on your own for three months. At a minimum, we all need to make an effort to be friendly in this office.”

If you can draw her out, you will have a chance to resolve this, but she needs to own up to her feelings. But if she doesn’t, speak to the owner’s wife and collaborate on a strategy. In a barrel that small, a rotten apple will start to spoil the bunch.

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