HUMAN RESOURCE DICTIONARY

[Judy Loux]

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.



"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"

We have no time to train you.



"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.



"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"

You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.



"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"

Some time each night and some time each weekend.



"DUTIES WILL VARY"

Anyone in the office can boss you around.



"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"

We have no quality control.



"CAREER-MINDED"

Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).



"APPLY IN PERSON"

If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been

filled.



"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"

We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.



"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.



"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.



"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay

or respect.



"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they

want and do it.





DDiva



 

[tlc2559]

Thanks for the laugh this morning, DDiva!  I'll never look at an employment ad the same again!  



tlc

[Katie G]

Too true!