What about a Welcome to Spring Day.  On the same note, Welcome to Autumn.   Perhaps in the dead of winter, you could have a day where you decorate with a summer theme!  Serve lemonade and cookies/biscuits in the breakroom!!  

Sports Theme.  Sorry, I'm not familiar with all the holidays celebrated in the UK. Is this a once a month thing?  Once a quarter?  Sounds like fun.  

TO:    Everyone

RE:    Christmas Party



DATE:  December 1





I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue.  No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free singing along.  And don't be

surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!





FROM:  Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director

DATE:  December 2

RE:    Christmas Party



In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which  often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on

we're calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.  Happy now



FROM:  Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director



DATE:  December 3



RE:    Holiday Party



Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name.   I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?  Somebody?





FROM:  Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director

DATE:  December 7

RE:    Holiday Party



What a diverse company we are!  I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.  Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work?  Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the rest rooms.  Did I miss anything?





FROM:  Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director

DATE:  December 8

RE:    Holiday Party



So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads?  Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the

band's breaks.  Okay???





FROM:  Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director

Date:  December 9

RE:    Holiday Party



People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus!  Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own  "little man in a red suit."  It's a

tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?



FROM:  Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director

DATE:  December 10

RE:    Holiday Party



Vegetarians!?!?!?  I've had it with you people!!!  We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of  death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar,

including hydroponic tomatoes.  But you know, they have feelings, too.  Tomatoes scream when you slice them.

I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!





FROM:  Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE:  December 14

RE:    Pat Lewis and Holiday Party



I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.  In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the

 23rd off with full pay.

Doris Cramer

(702)269-8719

    "I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes

     several days attack me at once."





 

Good one, Queen.



 

Ms. R,

So glad that you enjoyed the EOTY breakfast meeting last Tuesday.  It is one of only two events during the year that our bosses have an opportunity to see us in action.  The other is our annual Administrative Professionals Day luncheon (formerly known as Professional Secretaries Day).



Queen - This was good - really good.  You made me smile!

 

Ok, sorry I can't relate to this one.  No kids.  While my hubby has been unemployed, dinner is usually ready (or nearly ready) when I get home, along with my marguerita or cosmo.  If he didn't feel like cooking, then he called "Waiters on Wheel."  



AND, each morning, he would make my lunch.  I can hear ya'll now...yes, he has a brother; no, they're nothing alike.



All good things must come to an end, starting Monday, hubby will be working again.



sungoddesslv (back on Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice) in LV

Just goes to show the difference in generations on this site.  I can view the site "Do You Remember the 60's?" and make an "A" on the test! ! !        



sungoddess (continues to lie about her age) in LV

Born and raised in Texas, lived in Georgia for six years.  One Southernism you missed is "fixin'"  I'm fixin dinner; I'm fixin to go to the store, etc.



Yonder - great word.  

Others are reckon and directly.

Two of my grandmothers favorites.   "I reckon we will be leaving directly."



 

Ms Robbie,

How long ago did "nice girls" not go to pool halls?  



I remember going to a pool hall once -- I think I actually danced on the table!  I know, way too much information.



Do you know how many times I've gotten up in the middle of the night, gone downstairs for a drink of water ::she says with a little smirk:: and walked by the office thinking, maybe I'll just check my emails.  Ya, like anyone who writes me would be up at this hour! ! !    



Happy Friday and Weekend, Everyone.



sungoddess (having too much fun this afternoon) in LV

Yesterday on the radio during one of those "stupid story" segments, the DJ told of the latest from Buckingham Palace.  The Queen had gotten so fet up with her staff's pockets ringing, that she banned the use of cell phones by the staff.  She had a pay phone installed for their use.



Don't cha just love it! ! !    



P.S.  Bossie called for the second time since lunch.  I told him we were all still here (2:30 on Friday) and he could quit calling now....I'm bad, aren't I?  



sungoddess (just messin around) in LV



 

Not sure where to put this post but felt Humor was the best place. Another Comdex story.  QueeperQueen and I had an interesting conversation with a couple of solicitors outside the Comdex convention.  They were promoting "Spce Adventures."



You guys just aren't going to believe what they offer.  "Hot Flights and Cool Moscow Nights"  Fly a MiG-25 at Mach 2.5 to 82,000 feet!



For a laugh, check out their web site:  www.spaceadventures.com



Anyone have an extra $98,000 laying around! ! ! ! Piqued your interest now?  



sungoddess (thinking of what it must be like to pass out in the back of a MiG-25) in LV



 

THE PALM BEACH POKEY

 

You put your stylus in,

You put your stylus out,

You put your stylus in,

And you punch Buchanan out.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!

 

You put the Gore votes in,

You put the Bush votes out,

You put the Gore votes in,

And you do another count.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!



You bring your lawyers in,

You drag the whole thing out,

You bring your lawyers in,

And you put it all in doubt.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!



You let your doctors spin,

You let the pundits spout,

You let your retirees sue,

And your people whine and pout.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!



You do the Palm Beach Pokey,

You do the Palm Beach Pokey,

You do the Palm Beach Pokey,

That's what it's all about!





 

What a hoot!  



Are there any newlyweds that haven't had some kind of cooking catastrophe?



LOL    

Too funny!  Thanks for sharing that one.

I've never seen this one before.

It could be that Daddy sent it once but he sends so much stuff that I delete most of them ::guilty look::



sungoddess (when will it be hot again) in LV

QQ - too funny.  Glad I checked "humor" today.  



No shoveling needed where we are.  We'll be lucky if we get below freezing.  



sungoddess (waiting for the phone to ring) in LV

Thou shalt not skim flavor from the holidays

By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY



I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.



You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say.



Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick?  I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph.



I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy....



1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum

balls.



2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!



3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.



4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.



5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?



6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while

carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.



7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them

behind. You're not going to see them again.



8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?



9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.



10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over.



But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corn