Party Etiquette

[ozbound]

My dh and I are thinking about having a summer party at our house.  There are some people at work I'd like to invite, mainly fellow musicians, as we're planning on having some friends who have a band at the party. However, I don't want to invite *everybody* because our house is small so we have limited "party space."  How should I go about this, without being rude? Just put the invitation out there for all anyway, knowing that most probably won't show up? (A coworker & his wife recently hosted a party and he invited everyone but only a couple of co-workers showed up, but then they live out on an island that is only accessible by ferry.)

[winkiebear]

Oz, that's a touchy point.  I know that when having a party around here, you only invite those you are comfortable with... and if the uninvited don't like it, then they need to get to know you better.  I guess I'm agreeing with throwing the invite to all and let those who show up have fun....

[sungoddesslv]

Oz,

I'd suggest that you send the invitations to everyone's home.  If they're smart, they will realize that not everyone at work is invited and will not discuss it.  However, there are always those uneducated few who might mention it.



 

[bohorquez]

If you want to throw a party I don't believe you are obligated to invite everyone right?  So what I would do is make up some invitations and pass them out to the one's you want to invite.  Of course when you hand them the invitation you can also say during the conversation, "Oh we wish we could invite everyone but we had to limit ourselves!!"  



Just a thought!

 

[laundryhater]

I would agree that sending the invitations to those select fews' home addresses would be the way to go.

[Katie G]

I firmly believe in the separation of "work life" and "personal life" anyway, but, absolutely only send the invites to the homes of those you want to come.  Doing it in the office when not everyone is invited is only going to cause hurt feelings.  Even if they couldn't come anyway, nobody likes to be "not on the list" so to speak.



 

[countrigal]

I agree with the sending them to the house group.  Especially considering the reason they're being invited is because of non-work related likes (it's not like you can say all of us on Project X are getting together for supper or some such deliniation in the office group).  And this lets them know that they are being invited for a group setting that will not be work related.



Good luck!

[melissa406]

I went to a meeting yesterday with several of my supervisors.  The first order of business was a "Girls Night Out".  They went around the table and asked each person, by name, what they wanted to bring.  Except me...I wasn't invited.  Which is fine, except that I thought it was incredibly rude to talk about it in front of me.  This was a six-person meeting, including me, so it wasn't like they didn't notice I was there.  They didn't even acknowledge that I wasn't invited - they just skipped me.



Am I being too sensitive about this?  I don't know.  I'm mildly upset about it.

[solargal]

Melissa, ouch!  That's very hurtful I would also be upset. Why do people do things like that?  Sorry.

[bethalize]

I would have been FURIOUS! You showed great restraint in not punching them on the nose. Either they are very rude and thoughtless or they wanted you to know that you weren't invited - unless there is any reason that they think you wouldn't be interested? Or unless it was a "supervisor-only" event.  If it was, it was still rude to bring it up at the beginning of the meeting!

 

[chris68]

Even if it were a supervisory event and you weren't invited, they should have done two things, a) not talked about it while you were there, very rude, b) if not a supervisory event, they should have asked if you would like to be included anyway as a curtosy.



Sounds like you handled it wondefully, their loss I say.



Chris68

[Katie G]

Ditto, Melissa, OUCH!  Can you say "catty"?



:: shaking head in disgusted wonder ::



What IS it with people anymore?



 

[laundryhater]

Yes, that was VERY rude of them to talk about it in front of you!



And congratulations on keeping your cool.



I think I probably wouldn't have been so quiet about it. If I was the one being excluded I think I would have piped up and said "I can bring cheesecake." acting like I didn't realize I wasn't invited. That would teach them not to talk about it in front of me.

[whitesatin]

Laundryhater,



ROFLMAO!  I like your style girlfriend.  Your solution is priceless!  I have to remember that one for the future!  



WS