Dear Lois,
I agree, the yearly scramble to fill the Administrative Professionals
Week Calendar can be a real grind. So here's the DeskDiva version
of things you might want to suggest to your worried employer. Print
out a copy of this column and leave it where he/she can see it.
Taking the high road for Administrative Professionals Week
An Open letter to employers everywhere
 Flowers?
Nope. We're sick of them. They say you dodn't care enough to really
think about me. Further there's that awful moment when people actually
compare flowers. Does a small bud vase you thought was classy stand
a chance against that rose bowl float that is sitting on Jane's
desk? Uhh no. As an Add On, yes, they're great. But they die. Bad.
 Gift
Baskets? Nope, we hate those too. Have you ever tried to actually
eat any of the stuff that comes in them? Giant cookies, and boxes
of chocolates should be verboten as well. Hello, can you hear our
arteries hardening? Then we die. Bad.
 Lunch
with you? Uhh, one of the more uncomfortable experiences we have
to look forward to each year. Not that we don't like you or anything.
But let's face it, how much fun is a lunch where we know you're
going to tell us "great job" sixteen times between the salad and
the main course. You'll only really mean it the first time, but
we'll watch you twist in the wind for a while before we finally
change the subject to last year's budgetary shortfall to give you
something new to talk about. No one dies, but there are moments
when they wish they had.
Now how about some things, which make real sense to us?
Here's my list of things that make real sense in celebration of
Administrative Professionals Week.
 Microsoft
Certification Exams. You can buy them online. And you can
make a big deal out of the fact that you think I'm smart enough
to pass this thing. (I am). You can encourage my coworkers
and me and refer to us as Certified Specialists all year round.
Beats a bad lunch at that place up the street any day. Further,
you can use what we learn. Nice when presents work out that
way.
 The
Administrative Professional Briefing 2004. Erin Brockovich.
Hello?! Erin Brockovich. She used to be an admin. She looks
nothing like Julia Roberts. She changed her own world and the
lives of lots of people because she had tenacity and was smart
about how she applied it from her office desk. She and Anne
Richards, former Governor of Texas, among others are part of
the Satellite Broadcast for The Administrative Professionals
Briefing 2004. You can get it on computer just for me, or you
can get it on big screen for the whole team. Or you could get
it on big screen for the whole team and THEN give us Office
Specialist vouchers. We're not picky.
You could take five minutes and nominate me for the Best Administrative
Professional Award. You have to think in 250 characters or
less. This will work for your communication style and costs
you nothing. You could do the Office Specialist voucher, send
me to the virtual briefing and THEN nominate me. If I win THEY
will send me flowers. You never have to leave your computer.
See how nice?
- You could give me a paid day off. Come to think of it you could
give me the paid day off to take my Microsoft Office Specialist
Exam…
Are you getting the picture? When you think about my career, and
the benefits I bring to the company, it would be a wonderful thing
if you'd think about them in the same context. It would make me
so proud of you; proud of me too. And it gives me the added benefit
of not having to chase you like a lioness running down gazelle
on the veldt to get you to make sure that you get this thing done
on time. Administrative Professional's Week April 18th to 24th.
So this year, dearest Boss, as you're running around the office on
Friday afternoon during APW 2004, panic stricken because none of
the staff are speaking to you since you managed to forget again,
heed my words and remember the plan. You're taking the high road
this year.
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