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gee4
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« on: October 04, 2006, 02:14:39 pm » |
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Well we had our 2-day conf last week which was a perfect opportunity to get to know staff, colleagues and delegates on a less formal basis....you would think!
I've been busy this week catching up with emails and post as I was out of the office from Wed to Fri of last week so only getting round to posting this now.
Anyway myself and the other company PA went to the hotel venue last Wed morning to set up our office for the duration of the event, as did the marketing and PR guys to set up stands, lighting, technical equipment etc. I was chatting to "Joe" just like I would in work and at first it was awkward as we were all in jeans, casual dress yet still doing our job as professionals. However I felt things were fine and moving along. On the Thur morning we were all slightly nervous but focussed on the conference, making sure everyone knew what their roles were.
Later in the afternoon we were able to relax and change out of our business attire to prepare for the evening event, while our delegates played golf or relaxed.
The evening was great - first black tie event I've ever been to and we all looked fab. So much hard work had been put in and with it being my first company event, I was not only pleased at my efforts but was looking forward to the whole night itself.
During courses at dinner I felt the eyes of someone on me and silhoutted in one of the doorways of the function room, I lifted my eyes only to see Joe standing watching me. He quickly looked away and so did I. It was only for a brief second but I carried on my conversation regardless. We had a "night at the races" event later and raised some money for our charity.
Later on I managed to chat to one of the other guys Joe sits near at work and we had a brief conversation about the situation, but without me naming any names. He told me something I hadn't even realised - here was I, just newly started with the company, absent from my desk for 2 whole weeks while I was on induction with my bosses teams and the feedback he gave me was, "here was this new PA who for 2 weeks wasn't at her desk and who nobody really knew. By the third week she is at her desk and while it is no excuse not to say good morning, relationships with certain individuals had yet to be established". I have to admit I felt much better about that and understand now from their point of view how they felt.
The next morning going to breakfast, after getting to bed around 4am, Joe and I however were back to square one - him blanking me whilst talking to others in my company. I've been in his company every day this week so far for lunch and he's spoken, as I have, at different times in conversation. Our CEO is treating myself, the other PA, him and the other marketing/corp affairs guy to lunch in recognition of all our hard work, before and during the conference. Joe has been tasked with the job and has booked a very nice venue next week so am looking forward to that.
All in all I am really loving my job and the people I work with. I guess I should just accept I won't ever figure him out.
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raindance
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« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2006, 02:56:51 pm » |
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I think you will just have to meet this person where he's at, so to speak and continue to be your usual charming self.
It may well be that this colleague is either very shy or a recluse, or just socially inept. If it really bothers you, you might wish to consider just mentioning to him in as tactful and humourous way as possible.
Best wishes,
Raindance
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emma138
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« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2006, 04:06:22 pm » |
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Well, he's certainly an odd one.
I'm inclined to agree with others that he is attracted to you. You mentioned before that he's married and if he has a generally happy marriage he may be protecting himself and his marriage, as he sees it, by limiting his contact with you. Less contact, less substance with which to fuel his fantasy of you.
But may be wrong, who knows what his motives are. If he is behaving professionally, however, there may be nothing you can do. Some people are just cold fish and don't have the need to build working relationships that are friendly as well as courteous. If it's not creating an atmosphere that is affecting your mutual colleagues, it might be better to accept him as he is.
I'm not sure about mentioning it to him. If you think he might be responsive, it might be worth doing but given that his behaviour to date seems to be designed to maintain a distance between you, he may resent this approach. Cultivate some friendships with your other colleagues. Over time he may drop his barriers.
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raindance
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« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2006, 04:33:09 pm » |
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I agree, Emma. I certainly don't think this is anything to take personally.
I've had a colleague for the past seven years - very charming, handsome, married and therefore "off limits", and extremely good at his job. If I have had a dozen sentences from him in over seven years that would be counting a great deal. At first, I found it most disconcerting, but I eventually realised that he happens to be shy of people and the lack of communication was just his way.
R.
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gee4
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« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2006, 05:02:42 pm » |
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Thanks for your comments - I agree with you all. I actually got a good morning today which did surprise me so I guess if I leave the puppy alone, he'll come round eventually...  |
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gee4
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« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2006, 09:53:41 am » |
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Would it mean anything if I said that a discussion at lunchtime recently revealed that "Joe" had someone who liked him in work? Not a stalker as such and don't think anything happened even though it was before he was married, but kinda puts some perspective on the "situation", no? He was a little embarrassed when it was brought up so prob felt awkward since I am still fairly new in that circle. Understand it would not be favourable (now that he's married) for him to know someone else likes him. Glad I found out though.
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gee4
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« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2007, 09:19:54 am » |
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Well DD'ers, I finally got to the bottom of this little saga.
We had a leaving do for a colleague which I organised at the end of March and "Joe" was there. If I said he has been flirtatious in past few weeks, that is an understatement. Anyway we had a great night and with the boys at one end of the table for the meal and girls at the other, he came and sat beside me once we had finished, complimented me on what I was wearing and was more friendly than he's ever been.
We headed on to another bar and had a very interesting chat while waiting on drinks. It seems some of you were indeed correct in your thinking, he does like me but said it took him a while to get to know the real me as my personality overpowered the person I really am. If he'd met me in a bar, rather than at work, he would have had a different opinion of me on first meeting.
He has completely changed in my company - he now chooses to sit beside me in the canteen at lunch and we are able to have a laugh and chat about things like never before. I have no idea what changed or when but things seem to have sorted themselves out.
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gee4
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« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2007, 08:48:14 am » |
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Well, it seems "Joe" has decided to leave us for pastures new. Yes he's got a new job and is saying goodbye at the end of the month. I am organising a night out (as requested by him) and a collection (as requested by his line manager) . It's sad to see anyone go, but when there's a good crowd of you who work together you become like one big family. I am glad I got to know him for the short time we worked together. No more handsomes to look at now.  |
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gee4
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« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2007, 10:02:42 am » |
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Well we had lunch for Joe on Tuesday, on the company, and his last day was yesterday. We had a presentation for him in the afternoon and he said a few words - sad really when someone goes. I was of course tasked with doing a collection for him, buying a present and organising his leaving do which is tonight.
It was a strange day yesterday for us all and before he left yesterday afternoon he sent out an email thanking everyone for the leaving gifts and confirming his contact details for those who want to keep in touch. Then I received a further email, a personal one, with special thanks for chosing his gifts and at the end he said he would miss me.
I was choked. I had managed to get through the whole day until that point. I can tell you it will be waterproof mascara for tonight.
< End of another chapter >
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itsme_calista
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« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2007, 11:18:28 am » |
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Aww Gee I know exactly what you mean about it being sad when someone leaves.
A chap I've dealt with mainly over email for the past year left last week, he provides me with information for our conference calls and he phoned me on Thursday to say goodbye and thank me for being so patient with him and backing him up on occasions.
I felt so sad that we were loosing a good member of staff (albeit he was on a temp contract), but was even more choked that he thought enough to call me and tell me he was going.
Hope you have fun tonight and that the mascara sticks LOL
Callie
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