You Know You're a Mother When...

[ccolleen413]

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.



You have time to shave only one leg at a time.



Your kid throws up and you catch it.



Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.



You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.



Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.



You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.



You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.



You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.



You hate the thought of his wife even more.



You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.



You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.



You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"



You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.



You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.



You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.



You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.



You hide in the bathroom to be alone.



You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[radaro]

    This is sooo true    



I won't do #1 but I have done #3 when my kid got sick at my mom's house over her BEAUTIFUL carpet - nothing hit the floor! GROSS!  And so true about the charities!



Also, even if I hide in the bathroom I can't get any privacy, I have to wait until I get to work!



Also:

Not only do you know the names of all the characters in the Arthur books but you know their parents names too.



You host a fancy dinner party and only pour half cups of coffee so that if anyone spills there is less mess to clean up.



You haven't got enough energy to stay up past 9:00 p.m. but you can leap over the coffee table to save your child from any danger.

[whitesatin]

Your child chews his toast in the shape of a gun! ROFLMAO!!  Written by true Moms.    



WS  

[execsec]

I'm guilty of the "pouring a glass only half-full so there's less mess to clean up" when I'm with adults!!



How about you cut up all food to bite size pieces and you realize you're doing it with your lunch at work!

[mlm668]

I loved it.  I sound a lot like my mom when I say certain things, but then I realized a few years back that I am just like my mom.  I guess it could be worse.  I have a pretty great mom.  



Thanks for the smile.