Message #40698

[andream]

Glad you're feeling better Iza! come back and talk to us anytime you like about your developing job situation.  It sounds like it might be time to dust off that CV and take seriouos stock of where you see your career headed.  No one should dread coming to work every single day and no one should have to work as hard as you have to create a partnership with their employer only to have it blow up in their face. Remember that in order to do an effective job, you need to take care of yourself.  Sounds like a good conversation with the hydra...err bossie is in order but not before you've gathered your wits and decided what you want the outcome of this communication to be.  Better communication? More honesty between you? Perhaps you do need to resort to having everything in a written format, however from what you've told us before about this bossie, it's possible he will view having everything suddenly presented to him as a challenge. (he shouldn't but he might) so step into documentation slowly, choosing a big project to bullet point into a written format and approaching slowly and gently with it rather than a militant stance will ensure that your document gets read.

One of the things about documentation is that it helps you discover if there really IS a communication problem.  When you present written objectives based on your conversation with bossie and he red pencils them over an over it's time to ask yourself three questions:

1.  Did I not hear him correctly?
2.  If I heard him correctly, why has the work objective changed now?
3.  What can I do to prevent this happening in the future?

A little training in taking the emotional self out of this process will help you tremendously as well.  (You can however allow yourself ten minutes per day of the Holding his head underwater scenario just for mental health's sake)

What Im trying to say here is that you should attack this like any other PA problem.  If your expense reports consistentantly come back with corrections most often you can figure out that you're doing something wrong.  If after a little study you find that your expense reports are correct, then it's the person on the other end who is sending them back with the problem...the same with Bossie.  Approach it scienticially, think about all the possibilities, is it you? Him? do you want to leave this job? If not, is the relationship fixable? And how do you go about fixing it.? What initial steps can you take to improve your work environment so that you're not dragging in miserable, because as hard as this is for you to hear, it's visible my friend.  Misery in the workplace shows up in our work, in our attititude and most importantly in our perceptions of ourselves and those around you.  The very second you take control of how you feel, you'll be less miserable and more able to work on the problems, and to  make rational decisions about what you should do for yourself and your career, as well as your happiness.

No one said it's easy Kiddo, it's not.  It's about growing professional roots where none existed before, and really taking that next leap into planning a career and professionally implementing that plan.  

If you've determined you want to stay with this company, you've got to make it work, and the best way to do that is with a plan. Your plan, that works in YOUR world.  

you can do it, I see the intelligence and articulate way that you post here, and I also see the marked depression in your most recent entries.  No job is worth doubting yourself.  Improving yourself, yes, that's what being a professional is about, but the kind of doubts you are having are self generated.  Take control of them you can you can you can!

Come back and talk, come back and vent, but take some time and create a plan for how you're going to proceed and you'll be amazed at how much better you begin to feel....

Let us know how things are progressing? Please?

and a note to Suzi, Anything which is kept in your employer's domain, even in a locked drawer is subject to inspection should the employer so chose.  No way in the world would I keep a diary of the sort you suggested at the office.  While you believe the diary is work related the employer could see it another way, and if he/she DOES see it as work related, then they have a perfect right to read everything in it.  One mention of the office makes it work related by the way.

do you really want to run the risk of Mr. Hydra seeing that he groused because his tea was late? Or Ms. XYZ finding out that you think she's disorganised? While I personally advocate a work related diary, it sounds like the best place for yours might be at home where you can make nightly entries rather than run the risk of having a document which is almost personal be found, read and perhaps shared with other management.

So a word to the wise, Keep work diaries free of vents and opinions, because if you don't the information contained within them is tainted by the opinions which are included. If you want to include vents and opinion in a work diary than the place for it is at home, where those vents will not accidentally find their way into the light unless you want them to.

Just a thought.

Andrea