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Judy Loux
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« on: September 19, 2001, 06:45:29 am » |
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MOTHER'S DICTIONARY
Amnesia:
condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have s-- again
Bottle Feeding:
an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am, too
Defense:
what you'd better have aroun de yard if you're going to let de
children play outside
Drooling:
how teething babies wash their chins
Dumbwaiter:
one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert
Family Planning:
the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback:
the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots
Full Name:
what you call your child when you're mad at him
Grandparents:
the people who think your children are wonderful even though
they're sure you're not raising them right
Hearsay:
what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word
Impregnable:
a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid
Independent:
how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say
Look Out!:
what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it
Prenatal:
when your life was still somewhat your own
Prepared Childbirth:
a contradiction in terms
Puddle:
a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes into it
Show Off:
a child who is more talented than yours
Sterilize:
what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
Storeroom:
the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that
children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything
Temper Tantrums:
what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children
Thunderstorm:
a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed
Top Bunk:
where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies
Two-Minute Warning:
when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those
familiar grunting noises
Verbal:
able to whine in words
Weaker Sex:
the kind you have after the kids have worn you out
Whodunit:
none of the kids that live in your house
Whoops:
an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge"
DDiva
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chris68
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« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2001, 07:53:37 am » |
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"Whodunit:
none of the kids that live in your house"
This kid was always known as "NOT ME" in our house when bro and I were little. Thanks for reminding me of all the fun!
Chris
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Katie G
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« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2001, 08:31:09 am » |
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Weren't they the little invisible ghosts in the comic "Family Circus"?
Not Me, Ida Know, and Nobody?
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chris68
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« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2001, 09:23:11 am » |
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Probably, and maybe thats where my folks got it from.
But it was a standard in our house when nobody would claim something that happened and was obviously one of us kids, oh that Not ME did it again!
Chris
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mcbethers
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« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2001, 09:25:22 am » |
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I don't know about the full name definition. In my family, you're more likely to be called by the older sibling names, then your own. The more names, the more trouble you're in.
NancyJudiBeth! What DID you DO?!?!
Even worse, my mother does it to my sister's daughter. Only since my neice is an only child, it's MY name that starts the litany. I love being in a different province, causing trouble with a five year old, and finding out about it afterwards.
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