Week of May 31- when no means no...

[andream]

Harassment.  The Sexual Kind.  We hear about it often, I get e-mail from people who've been in the distasteful situation.  So let's hear from you. Have you ever been sexually harassed in the workplace. Demeaned? threatened? objectified?  If it hasn't happened to you, have you seen inappropriate behavior happen to others? Or is the demon dead? have those in power learned that harassment is illegal and have they finally tuned into the liability which harassing behavior can cause a company?

Sexual Harassment- Dead or still alive and kicking in the global boardrooms of today's modern office?

Do tell..

Andrea

[peacelily54]

I was a victim ( as well as many others, both male and female) of harrassment and sexual harrassment by my boss who was a top-ranking military official and VP of a defense company.  I chose not to stay a victim.  I re-iterated many times to the "gentleman" what was appropriate workplace behavior and what was not in regard to myself and others.   After a year and getting no where with our CEO, I went to headquarters in another city and spoke with their lawyers.  They were appalled and asked what my CEO was doing - which was nothing but listening to me and rubbing his forehead saying, "Oh my God, we can't have this".  It is a long and involved story but to shorten it greatly, it had to be done.  I couldn't live with myself if I didn't fight this battle - it had to stop.  I have a friend who is a states attorney and she helped me with a corporate lawyer.  I did not seek monetary compensation - it was a moral issue for me.  It was wrong and we all deserved to work in a non-hostile environment.  Long story short - he was fired.  I soon left the company for greener pastures but saw a few people at a party about a year later - they thanked me for making their life a bit easier for their last year prior to retirement.  

It still happens in the workplace and I believe we have a responsibility to:
1.  Let the offender know their actions, words are not acceptable.  

2. Document, document, document everything!

3.  If that doesn't stop - go to HR, to Headquarters, and if they won't help, go to EEOC and file a complaint.  That will start the ball rolling.  It won't be fixed overnight - there is a complex and involved investigation process.

It's going to be scary but if you think you can handle it - go for it.  Because this was a defense company, I was screened and interviewed by government defense agencies. So, it was a big deal to them also.  

I've never regretted my decision.  

[gee4]

Never been a victim but if you knew me, you wouldn't mess with me!

Arrghh!

G

[spitfire78]

Never been a victim myself - I'd probably deck anybody who tried!  However, I did post here a few years ago about a situation I had with two coworkers.  They were constantly talking about one of the junior bosses in a sexual manner - always talking about looking at his butt, once going so far as to discuss what they imagined he looked like in the shower, callling him "Mr. October" (behind his back, of course).  I was quite disgusted with it and vented here.  I got some good advice on how to handle these people when they started in on it but never had a chance to use it because one of the coworkers left.

[peana]

I like to think I've always been very professional at work and have never given off the wrong signals.  However, no one is immune to sexual harrassment, and it can be very ackward to deal with.  

In a previous job I'd always been friendly with a colleague - hubby and I had dinner with him and his wife on a few occassions, and I considered him a good friend.  Things started to get uncomfortable when I resigned - I had to give 3 months notice and he got increasingly flirtatious over this time, despite my protests.  Things never got beyond him trying to kiss me, and I did nothing about it formally as I knew I was leaving and he had been a good friend.  In fact we met again recently after a few years had passed and things were fine again.  

Although I like to think I'd be more assertive if I found myself in the same position, I know it's not always that simple.  I started to question myself and if I was over-reacting to little things.  I also found myself making excuses for his behaviour e.g. because he was French, maybe he was having a mid-life crisis (he had a daughter my age), etc..

My exisiting company has a strict code of conduct and guidelines about how to behave in the office, so I've never experienced anything similar since.  However, some of the guidelines are a bit extreme and as a PA to a male boss are impossible to follow e.g. to keep the door open if a man and woman are in a meeting alone together!

I hope any of you who are being harrassed are able to resolve your problems.  I know how rotten it can make your day and what it can do for your stress levels.