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raindance
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« on: May 04, 2007, 03:49:03 pm » |
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The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
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duque
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« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2007, 09:22:20 am » |
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Brilliant! it is sooo true too
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raindance
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« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2007, 11:07:57 am » |
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Actually, I do not believe the cat. Everyone knows that cats are not kept in captivity. Cats do not have captors nor do they have owners.
CATS HAVE STAFF!
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ControlledChaos
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« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2007, 11:37:11 am » |
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So true. In our house we exist to please our cat and the dog exists to please us (although it's funny watching them sunbathing side by side, each trying to outdo the other for the best space  ). |
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tillaruth
Newbie
Posts: 4
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« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2007, 03:00:07 pm » |
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Could someone tell me why my two cats (mother and daughter) far prefer the company of our dogs, than each other? They spit and hiss at each other and then spend time, rubbing up against and purring to the dogs. They even follow the dogs when they go out for a walk.
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misslynn
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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2007, 08:35:15 pm » |
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I bought my cat a new cat tree, which is not the least bit interested in (arg!) but has spent the last 24 hours playing with the new toy I bought him. I should have just stuck with the toy, it's much cheaper!
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msmarieh
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« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2007, 03:53:44 pm » |
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Rub a little catnip on the cat tree. And feed the cat a treat or two on it.
Marie
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