Goodness, it sounds like many of you have worked for some real brats over the years. I had to laugh at the one poster who said she could tell her boss's by the way he was in the morning because that is exactly how the guys I work with gauge mine. I don't get ugly, I'm just moody and can be very unapproachable when I'm in a bad mood. I've never shouted, but I have glared. Its been much better the past year since I went on medication for my depression. Bossie #2 has told me several times that I'm a completely different person and much easier to work with. He even seems to be relying on me more to keep him informed of what goes on when he's not around - kind of a PA role without all the schedule keeping and other basic duties that go with it.
I did want to share too how I handled the entire issue of bosses taking out their issues on me. When I was in my early 20's I worked for a lawyer who would tell clients and friends he was doing favors for a set timeframe and not share that with me. In addition, he had the messiest office of anyone I've ever worked for or with - files and messages everywhere and rarely was I given files back when I needed them, I had to go hunting for them in his office. He would come in from court nearly every morning and light into me about something not being done and being embarrassed with his friends because he had made them a promise. I was so happy when I got away from him. The next lawyer I worked with was a really sweet older gentlemen ready for retirement. He was so appreciative of what I did for him and so was his wife as he was later diagnosed with Alzheimer's and was in the very early stages of it when I worked for him. My memory for details helped him quite a bit when he would get confused with something.
After he retired I interviewed with another younger lawyer. I'd made up my mind by then that I would not ever again tolerate someone I worked for taking their aggravations out on my for any reason. And I somehow had the nerve to tell this guy that. If I was wrong, then yes, he had a right to reprimand me, but not yell. And under no circumstances was I going to put up with him yelling at me just because. I also was not going to put up with clients yelling at me because their case wasn't going like they wanted. He would call in or come into our suite ranting and raving and then stop and apologize and tell me he knew it wasn't my fault. We ended up having a great working relationship until he left the firm.
That was 13 years ago and since then I've apparently been able to present the demeanor that I expect respect and in turn will give it because I've never had to deal with that issue again. And if someone does come to me and is overly blustery or talking down to me, I stop them and tell them that when they can speak to me in a calmer, more respectful tone, we will discuss the issue. I've found over the years that that is usually the best way to calm them down. And being one of four females working in a construction company of 125 employees, I wouldn't have lasted a day or gained the respect I have from the guys if I ever let one walk all over me.
Michelle
