Making Announcements

[jadegrniiz]

I was wondering if anyone had some advice in announcing a pregnancy to your boss. As most of you know, I found out I was expecting shortly (3 days) into a new temp-to-perm job and at the advice of friends and my Dr., I decided not to tell the boss at that moment.



As of last Monday, I became a permanent employee and I'm already starting to fill out all my medical insurance forms and whatnot.



Now, how on earth do I come out and say it? By next week, I'll be into my second trimester. That is when I'll be ok with announcing it, but then I'm fighting this feeling that I've deceived them all along.



Anyone who's "been there" (or not) and can offer some thoughts on what exactly to say and how to say it?



Lori

[phoenix55]

You can do what I did--walk into your boss with two Tylenol and a glass of water and say, "I don't who's going to need this more--you or I."



Actually, having been there and having managed women who have been there, I think I have some experience in this. Of course, ask for a private conversation with your immediate supervisor first.   Just let her/him know you recognize that this may not be the greatest timing, but you're happy about it and will do everything in your power to work as hard as you can for as long as you can and then be honest about your thoughts regarding when and if you'll return after the baby's birth.  Speaking as a manager, I've offered the women who report to me the option of going up the ladder and announcing it to the big boss themselves, or if they feel uncomfortable doing so, I will break the news for them (by the way, my gem of a boss usually runs out all excited about the prospect of another new baby coming into our "family").  I don't know if anyone else will bring this up or if in fact it's an option for you, but if the issue of telecommuting during your maternity leave comes up, don't promise too much.  This is a time for you and your family--be a little selfish and enjoy your time off.  It's over all too soon.  



I haven't run into a boss yet who has major problems with this situation.  It's an inconvenience, yes, but it's part of life and as a manager, something you expect (sorry, no pun intended) to have to work around from time to time.  If you boss does have major problems with this, then probably that's not the person you want to be working for after the baby is born.  If they show no compassion now, what happens when you have to dash off to the pediatrician in the middle of the day with an ear infection?



Good luck with both the new job and the new baby.  I hope both bring you great joy and satisfaction.  Also, having been there also, hope you're feeling well and keeping breakfast, lunch and dinner down.  

[msepulv854]

First, I would like to congratulate you on your pregnancy and the permanent job.  I agree with Phoenix55, if the boss gets upset with the news, then that would not be the person you would want to work with once the baby is born.  A lot of bosses I know were very happy for friends of mine who found out they were pregnant after a short time on the job.  Many had returned back to work after the birth of their child and had successful working relationships.  Don't dispair, if the job is meant to be, the boss would be very happy for you and will be sincerely willing to help you out. If not, you'll know by his/her actions after the wonderful news.  Good Luck!!  

 

[countrigal]

I'm sure others will add more advice on how to handle you position.  I agree with all the posts here and wanted to add my Congratulations on both the baby and the perm. position.  Good luck with both!

[adassistant]

Congratulations, Jade, on your pregnancy and your new job!  I actually don't have any advice for you, but am interested to see what anyone else has to say, because my husband and I have recently decided to try and conceive.  



I hope you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy, and good luck!!

[donnap99]

Congratulations again!  Phoenix's advice sounds great to me -- I have nothing to add there as far as the announcing goes.



I do, however, want to tell you my story, just in case you should find yourself in the same boat.  My situation was a little different - I was in the same job for about 10 months at this point, but we had a new Comptroller.  After he was there for about a week, I couldn't hide the bulge anymore (I was skinny as a stick!), so I told everyone.  Everyone seemed to be happy.



My position was Payroll Manager - processing a weekly payroll of 250 employees, about 70% of them on commission or tips -- a very time-consuming and FULL-TIME job.  A short time later, I started getting called to the carpet for all kinds of small things that were either a) not my responsibility, or b) he wanted something different than the previous Comptroller but my mind-reading skills had not caught it.  



I knew something was going on, so I began slowly taking my personal effects home with me in the evenings, and only bringing my purse and lunch to work with me.  I also began to think of "wrongful firing" and checked out what resources I could go to.



About a month after my announcement I was called into his office first thing in the morning.  The HR Manager was there.  I was told that my position was being eliminated immediately, and that the HR Manager would begin processing the payroll.  I accepted his "management decision" gracefully and asked to have the reason for my loss of employment in writing before I left.  



He followed me to my desk where I picked up my purse and lunch bag and began to walk away.  He stopped me and asked if I had anything else personal to take with me, because I would not be admitted back to the office after that.  I told him "No, I've already taken it all home.  And by the way, you'll be hearing from a few lawyers..."  Well, his chin hit the floor!



That afternoon I filed suit under sexual descrimination laws -- he was completely happy with my work and I had this ALL documented -- until I announced my pregnancy.  The agency (EEOC?) was thrilled that I had come forward -- for them it was an open-and-shut case!  Well, when the suit reached the desk of the attorneys of the large corporation that owned the place where I worked, the Comptroller and General Manager were fired and I was asked, essentially, what was my price.



My point is -- if you notice ANYTHING change after your announcement, document it and keep it at home.



Wishing you the best, and hoping that NO ONE has to go through what I did,



Donna



P.S.  The HR Manager DID have to do the payroll until the suit was settled -- if they had hired someone to replace me it would have been very very baaad for their case!

[lioness70]

I was laid off from a bad job, and 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.  I went job-hunting but kept the pregnancy a secret.  I finally found a job when I was 3 months pregnant.  I didn't tell them until I was obviously showing (about 4 1/2 months).  They didn't have a problem with it.  My situation was a bit different than yours-I wasn't planning on returning to work after the baby was born.  I don't think you were deceiving them.  You never know how decision-making people are going to react.  Some will be happy for you, will accomodate you, and will work with your schedule once the baby's born.  Others will be upset that you won't be able to be there all the time to cover all their silly and sometimes unnecessary "needs."  Only you can predict how your boss will react.  Think things through before you tell them.

[adassistant]

I'm so sorry with what you went through!  I can't remember if you stated how long ago this was, but I hope everything turned out ok in the end.

[bethanial]

Jade, here's what I did.



I told my boss before I told anybody else (except for hubby, of course).  See, my situation is different from most people in that my boss and his family are friends on the personal level; we go to church together and see each other quite often outside of a work setting.  I knew I needed to tell my boss first because I wanted him to hear it from me, and not from our pastor or friend's at church.  (Good thing, too, b/c pastor announced it on a Sunday night!)  I guess for me it was a similar concept as be careful who you tell at work b/c you want your supervisor to find out from you, and not b/c it's going around the office grapevine.



I know this prob'ly isn't much help, but that's my story.

[chris68]

When I was pregnant I told 2 people close to me at work first and then told the boss shortly after that.  The reason, I didn't want to wait in case something happend and I had to run to the doctors unexpectedly.  Unfortunately that was the case for me.  So I am actually glad that he knew up front.



I wish you both the best and happy healthy babies.



Good luck.

Chris68

 

[jadegrniiz]

I'm really sorry to hear what you went through at that former job. But I can relate, because something very similar happened to me during my first pregnancy. Perhaps this is the reason I am so hesitant of what will happen. I did notice this morning that I'm not gonna be able to hide it much longer because things are beginning to get tight.



Ten years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, I was fresh out of high school, and barely 18. I was working my first full-time Admin job at the management office to the local mall. Shortly after learning of my pregnancy, I was told that they no longer needed the *additional* office help, and was offered a full-time slot working at the "Information Desk" in the public area of the mall. In a bind for work, I accepted. As my belly began to grow, my hours at the desk decreased from 40hrs down to 30, then 20... then 5, then I was off the schedule all together. The mall manager refused to even talk to me face to face, and told me over the telephone I was officially laid off, because they just didn't need me any longer. I thought it was off... because others were working overtime to cover where I was *slacking* in hours. While shopping at that mall a week later, I noticed a big ol "HELP WANTED" sign on the info desk. I shouted foul ball, and went right to my attorney. I didn't get a payoff, but I could have... all I wanted was the manager's head on the proverbial platter. And that I got.



Thanks to all for all the well-wishes and advice.



Lori