Co-worker harassment (not sexual)

[martinezmila]

Hello everyone,

Since I started this new role (in May) there has been another assistant who has been hostile, mean stares, strange manner towards me. I have asked her not to even deliver mail to my desk because she delivers the mail and then lingers to see what is on my desk. I've seen her. I am very uncomfortable and have tried to address this issue copying her mgr (who by the way is HR staff), and she turned around my accusation to say that it was I who is harassing her!

I don't even have time to go to lunch! I have a very strict boss who is demanding and good geez there are days when I don't have time to get up from my chair to get a small cup of soup or even to spend 2 minutes in the ladies room. 98% of my tasks do not even involve her!

I do not know what to do - imagine this is an HR dept and this sort of thing is happening. It is my first role in this industry and I'm floored that this kind of thing is happening.

I have contacted my mgr (who is on vacation) and am awaiting her reply, but would appreciate any views on this. My thanks to you in advance.

[JessW]

Dear Em

You did the right thing telling your manager about this - however, in the meantime the best advice I could possibly give is literally to ignore her and her attitude.  By acknowledging her behaviour you could be fuelling the problem rather than solving it.

As much as it pains me to say this, I know what it can be like and have dealt with the same.  You are there to do a job of work, learn from the experience and improve yourself.  She is not your problem.  Wait for your boss to get back to you.

Who konws, she is probably trying to work out who you are, what your job actually is, (possibly) why she did not get that job(?) and maybe envious of you!

Chin up.  Friends can be colleagues but it does not necessarily always work the other way round.

Just my initial thoughts, so don't take it as gospel!

Big hug!

Jess

[peaches2160]

I too experienced the same type of treatment when first entering my role a couple of years ago.  We had a temp who harrassed me, because she thought she should have had the job.  She was subtle about it and never did it in front of anyone.  Just remarks and other such actions.  Another was a co-worker who did not even apply for the job but thought I should not have it, (jealous) and another just a nosey admin in the area at the time.  I caught her going through my desk one day.  I reported it to her boss, one of my bosses direct reports, and locked my office when I had to leave.  I let them take care of themselves.  However, I did report the temp to my boss after trying to handle it myself with no success.  I ended up going to HR and low and behold, when we released her from the temp position, the recruiter was trying to find her another place in the company.  I put a stop to that real quick by going to the HR Director.  I spent some time in my career in HR and had the pleasure of working with some really great people,  but, like any job, there were a few bad apples in the basket too.  They always seem to take care of themselves and in the end, it usually ends up negative for them.  Keep your professional manner and handle it professionally.  You will come out on top since she is the one in the wrong.  Sometimes trying to talk to people like this just makes it worse.  It will be intersting to see how your boss reponds.  In my case, two days laters my boss gave the directive for the temp to be dismissed.  Just continue to do your job.  

[gee4]

Em,

Just to add to the other comments here, NO ONE has to put up with that kind of behaviour at work.  We spend most of our lives there and we wouldn't accept that treatment from friends or family, so why strangers?

You have done the right thing but I would document dates and occasions noting what happened and what was said.  It might help to build a case if this goes further.

I guess at some time or another we have all experienced this, whether it's harrassment from a boss or another co-worker.  The most important thing is that you haven't swept it under the carpet.

Keep us posted.