I thought this was just too cute not to post!  Enjoy  



The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.



He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"



Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"  "Yes," whispered the small voice.  "May I talk with him?" the man asked.  To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."



Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"  "Yes," came the answer.  "May I talk with her?"  Again the small voice whispered "No."



Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.  "Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child.  



"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."



Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"  "No, he's busy," whispered the child.  "Busy doing what?" asked the boss.



"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.



Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"  "A hello-copper," answered the whispered voice.



"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.  In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."  



Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"



Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle:  "Me."              

A survey of personnel executives at 200 of the Fortune 1000 companies provided the following examples of job applicant behavior:



* "The reason the candidate was taking so long to respond to a question became apparent when he began to snore."



* "When I asked the candidate to give a good example of the organizational skills she was boasting about, she saidshe was proud of her ability to pack her suitcase 'real neat' for her vacations."



* "Why did (the applicant) go to college?"  His reply:  "To party and socialize."



* "When I gave him my business card at the beginning of the interview, he immediately crumpled it and tossed it in the wastebasket."



* "I received a resume and letter that said that the recent high school graduate wanted to earn $25 an hour 'and not a nickel less.' "



* "(The applicant) had arranged for a pizza to be delivered to my office during a lunch-hour interview.  I asked him not to eat it until later."



* "(The applicant) said she had just graduated cum laude, but she had no idea what cum laude meant.  However, she was proud of her grade point average.  It was 2.1."



* "(The applicant) insisted on telling me that he wasn't afraid of hard work.  But insisted on adding he was afraid of horses, and didn't like jazz, modern art, or seafood."



* "She actually showed up for an interview during the summer wearing a bathing suit.  She said she didn't think I'd mind."



* "He sat down opposite me, made himself comfortable and proceeded to put his foot up on my desk."



* "The interview had gone well until he told me that he and his friends wore my company's clothing whenever they could.  I had to tell him that we manufactured office products, not sportswear."



* "(The applicant) applied for a customer service position although, as he confirmed, he really wasn't a people person."



* "Without asking if I minded, he casually lit a cigar and then tossed the match onton my carpet....and couldn't understand why I was upset."



* "On the phone, I had asked the candidate to bring his resume and a couple of references.  He arrived with the resume....and two people."





Unbelieveable, huh???  I'll bet these people couldn't understand why they DIDN'T get the job!    

Bethanial - these were pretty funny.  



By the way, I'm dating an engineer.....I'll have to send this to him!  I'm SURE he'll appreciate it!!  



Since you asked....the joke one....you usually have a comic and a "straight" man....so between two jokes...you have a "straight" line....get it???        



TGIF!!!!!!!    



Tracie

Andrea - I wasn't talking about COOKING!  I was talking about throwing stuff in a crock pot (you don't cook anything first!!) and, voila!...dinner is ready when you come home from work (provided you remember to turn the button to "on")  In my opinion, these are two VERY different things! Btw, my son LOVES cereal, cinnamon toast, and ANYTHING that can be cooked in the microwave (another of my favorite appliances!)



Hope y'all have a great day!!    

Andrea - that was GREAT!!!



How DO you do all this stuff?



Thanks for the laugh!  It was needed on this Tuesday morning!      



Have a great day, everyone!!



tlc    

LOVE IT.....printing it to hang behind my desk (in BIG letters!)



Thanks for the smile!  



Tracie

The child was a typical four year old girl...cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny.



When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.



One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.



"Now do you understand?" he asked.



"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"





Hope y'all are having a great day!!! (Even if it IS Monday!)



tlc    

I saw a license plate yesterday that I thought was hysterical....it was on a brand new corvette and it said "WASHIS".....



BTW - I have a Ford....never really had any problems....we've always bought Fords.....my ex-husband is a Ford man....etc., etc., etc.!



CountriGal - we are under a tornado watch today!!



Hope y'all are having a great day!  (I'm not, but hope y'all are  )



tlc

         



North Carolina....ROFLMAO!!!



Hysterical!  Can't wait for my 25th reunion!!!    



tlc

SPAM???  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!



My mom made EVERYTHING with Spam when I was a kid....some really *nasty* pasta dish...with spam, cubes of cheese, pasta and a few other things.....



I vowed I would NEVER serve Spam to my kids....and I haven't; nor have I eaten it since then!  My son asked me about it once when we passed it in the grocery store...I just put up the big *X* with my fingers....he just doesn't get it....I told him when he was 18, he could buy it for himself, but I wasn't going to do it!    He's 18 and I haven't seen any Spam cans around the house....yet!



tlc

Winkie - that was beautiful....brought tears to my eyes...



My son is 18 now and I recall all the things listed....what wonderful times!  Don't take it for granted....they grow up before you know it.



When he was little, I used to hold him on my chest and rub his head to get him to sleep, or just to calm him down if he was upset.....he still comes and lays his head on my lap and asks me to rub his head!  



Thank you for sharing this, Winkie.



tlc (with tears drying...) in TN

A man listening to the radio hears that a car is headed the wrong way on a highway, forcing people off the road.  He realizes his wife is on that highway and quickly calls her on her cell phone.



"Honey, watch out because a car is going the wrong way and running people off the road!"



She screams back, "It's not just one car!  There are thousands of them!"

>If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



>Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?



>What do chickens think we taste like?



>What do people in China call their good plates?



>What do you call a male ladybug?



>What hair color do they put on the driver's licens of a bald man?



>When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?



>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



>Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



>Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?



>Why are there interstates in Hawaii?



>Why are there flotation devices in the seat of planes instead of parachutes?



>Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?



>Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?



>How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?



>If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?



>Why is a bra singular and panties plural?



>If a firefighter fights fire, and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?



>If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?



>If you are driving at the speed of light, and you turn on your lights, what happens?



>Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?



>Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?



>What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?



 

A blonde was staring dumbfounded at a rushing river blocking her path.  As she wondered how to get across, she saw another blonde on the other side.  She yelled, "Hey, can you help me get to the other side?"



The other blonde replied, "You ARE on the other side!!!"





(hope I didn't offend anyone....I'm a blonde myself..and I have *friends* who get the biggest chuckle over sending these to me!)



 

         That is funny!!!



tlc