ROFLM*O ......... Happy happy joy joy ...... IT'S FRIDAY!!!



And it looks like we will have sunshine AND warm (for WI) weather.

> Oil Change Instructions for Women:

> 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when mileage reaches 3,000 since the last oil change.

> 2. Drink a cup of coffee.

> 3. Fifteen minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

>

> Money Spent:  $20.00 for oil change; $1.00 for coffee

>

> Total = $21.00

>

> Oil Change Instructions for Men:

>

> 1. Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.

> 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reily to recycle,dump in hole in back yard.

> 3. Open a beer and drink it.

> 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

> 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

> 7. Place drain pan under engine.

> 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

> 9. Give up and use cresent wrench.

> 10. Unscrew drain plug.

>  11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

> 12. Clean up mess.

> 13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.

> 14. Look for oil filter wrench.

> 15. Give up; poke oil filter with a screwdriver and twist off.

> 16. Beer.

> 17. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

> 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

> 19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

> 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

> 21. walk to 7-11; buy more beer.

> 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

> 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

> 24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

> 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

> 26. Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the backyard, along with drain plug.

> 27. Drink beer.

> 28. Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.

> 29. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.

> 30. Drink beer.

> 31. Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

> 32. Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 31.

> 33. Begin cussing fit.

> 34. Throw wrench.

> 35. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992 in the left boob.

> 36. Beer.

> 37. Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

> 38. Beer.

> 39. Beer.

> 40. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

> 41. Beer.

> 42. Lower car from jack stands

> 43. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

> 44. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

> 45. Beer.

> 46. Test drive car.

> 47. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.

> 48. Car gets inpounded.

> 49. Make bail; Get car from impound yard.

> Money Spent:  $50.00 parts; $25.00 beer; $75.00 replacement set of jack stands (hey the colors have to match!!!); $1,000.00 Bail; $200.00 impound and towing fee

>

> Total= $1,350.00

 

I'll split the difference here .......... HHS Class of 88



There is nothing worse then singing along with the radio and having the announcer interupt with a station identification .......... for an OLDIES station.  



Wait ... yes there is ..... when the "hard rock" station now plays "classic rock" ..... and it's the same songs!!

Does anyone remember .............. GOLD mousse?



Used to leave glitter where ever I laid my head ..... specially on my boyfriend's shoulder.

Bueler .... Bueler .... Bueler

Freddy

Jason

Adventures in Babysitting

"Brains .. brains"

needing a pliers to zip my jeans

the Goody comb in the back pocket

the moonwalk and a single glove



and......

 

LM*O .......... thanks for the trip down memory lane!  



*SIGH* Too bad my kids have no clue why I'm laughing so hard.

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.



You have time to shave only one leg at a time.



Your kid throws up and you catch it.



Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.



You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.



Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.



You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.



You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.



You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.



You hate the thought of his wife even more.



You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.



You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.



You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"



You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.



You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.



You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.



You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.



You hide in the bathroom to be alone.



You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've been lurking here a while, having come over from OfficeClick.  I had to respond to this post.  One thing to consider is what 3% means.  I just figured it out.  At my measly $8.50/hr, 3% IS .25 ........... I think I need a tissue.  



 

K,



Thanks for your advice.  It goes along with what I was thinking.  My boss is the accounting dept. (along with being HR, advertising exec., oh yeah and the owner)  But she does hire an outside accountant to check over the books and handle the taxes.  Unfortunately, he hasn't been to helpful with specifics on what to keep and what's safe to pitch.



Thanks again,

Colleen

The boss came today and told me that she wants to figure out how to get started on a major filing task.  Her financial files are a mess.  The system she started five years ago has taken over all the available space in her desk and she wants me to help figure out what to keep, what to store and what to purge.  Fortunately she is wise enough to break this monumentous task into manageable parts.



The first part involves orders placed with the corporate supplier (we are a franchise).  We are both thinking accordion files would be easiest to use.  Since orders are placed once a month or less it should be easy to just file them by year.



The question .... what do we keep?  Each shipment includes the original order, the packing slip, the shipping report, and the invoice.  Keeping all 4 documents for each shipment seems redundant.  What is kept at other offices? and why?



Thanks heaps,

Colleen

One of the reasons I lurk here is to learn from all the great wise ones.  But this case has me baffled.  Why couldn't you have just said something like "Thank you for bringing this straight to my attention.  I'm sure it must be a very big priority.  I will see to it that you get x# of copies just as soon as my meeting with Mr. Bigwig is over.  Do you want those 3-hole punched or stapled?"

 

MsRobbie,



Thanks so much for permission to use your post for my own nefarious purposes.  I promise not to abuse it and I definitely will not alter it in any way.



Thanks!

Colleen

Was the temping through one agency?  If so, then I think you could just list it as one job with multiple assignments.  That is what I did on my resume.  When asked I just explain that some assignments were only a day or two and some were several months.  Maybe that would work for you.



Wish I could help with the other questions but I'm still learning  

And another one ........... when you are the phone with Client A rescheduling an appointment and bossie makes you put Client A on hold(strict no-no in our office)because she thinks that you are talking to Client B and you are explaining the situation "all wrong"  The reason for this confusion?  We were discussing Client B when the phone rang.  Ummmmm ....... I haven't even called Client B yet, how could they be calling back already???

How about when bossie says "I want a mailing to go out by April 5.  I'll write the letter for you to type, DEC will write a description of our new service, you prepare the mailing list and get it all together."  Today is April 17, the mailing list is complete, the description was given to me today ....... still no letter.