Message #27756

[andream]

It's a tough call when we as Office Professionals feel demeaned by those we support.  You'e indicated that this employer's attitude has upset you enough, that you're job hunting.  So let's start there.

Are you job hunting because of the communication problem with this individual? Or are there other factors at work here? Had you previously decided that you weren't happy, or is that CV brush up all due to this one manager and you'd really prefer to stay with the company, even though there are hard times at present?

If your answer is that you really prefer to stay with the company, than you know that you must address your feelings with this manager.  That's best done in a non confrontational manner.  "You know Mr. Martin, Lately I've felt you were unhappy with my work, for instance you seemed rather upset last week when I couldn't find the XYZ document. I thought perhaps we could schedule some time to discuss my work and to see if you have some thoughts on imprving my efficiency.".  Do use I statements. Do take credit for your own emotions, and your own feelings of his displeasure.  You may find hes just a poor communicator and not particularly unhappy with you.  Take a look around you, does this guy treat EVERYONE poorly? Or just you? Be honest in your assessment.

Now, if you had begun that job search BEFORE your bossie became petulant, you were already mentally out the door anyway.  If bossie 's bad behaviour is just another mark on a long page of "reasons why I want to leave this company", then consider doing something very difficult.  Consider letting it go.  If Bad behaving bossie is already causing you greif, it might be safer reference wise to let the situation go while you continue your job search.  What's important though, will be managing the emotions his ill treatment is causing you. That's hard when you're feeling belittled.

But, how much sense does a confrontation make IF and only if you think it's going to increase the already poor treatment?

Only you can decide what's right for you, and only you know your bossie.  Will talking to him about your feelings have a decent projectable result? What's the matrix for "good result".  Being nicer ? Having more respect? Those are choices only you can make.

Now that's the Professional Website personna speaking.

In the real world, this guy hurt your feelings.   consider other times when your feelings have been hurt.  Have you gone on to build good working relationships once the air was cleared?  what you do, how you react to similar situations in the past, will give you a good clue as to whether or not you think this situation is salvagable. If you're sure it isn't,  polish that CV and spend your energies on your job search.

If you think it MIGHT be savable, consider the sit down chat with bossie.  

AND has it occured that possibly if business is bad, Bossie is distancing himself because a.  employees tend to blame the management when things go sour and their jobs are in jeopardy (Who wouldn't!) and b.  if things are fiscally that bad at your company, Bossie may be rationalizing.  Creating justifications for who must be let go when the axe falls.  

It's seldom I've seen a manager who was capable of cutting staff without some "reason".  Why keep Peggy and not Joan?  Hmm no REAL difference, but I need a reason,,,,ahhh the missing documents..... sometimes it's that simple.  Managers who don't know how to trim staff invent reasons for keeping one over the other.

It ain't purty but it's often the sad shortfall between Good managers and well,,,,, Yours.

Andrea