Message #40757

[cherokeechick]

Iza,
 I understand about not being able to motivate myself to work. The job I just left was a bit like that. I tried to make it work. I talked to my boss like it has been suggested, trying to iron out a plan on how I can help her and she can help me.  

After 3 1/2 years, I have given up, but not soon enough. The job has left me feeling useless and like a total idiot and lower than I have ever felt before. Bossie started out helpful and full of encouragement and hope that we could really learn to work together. Then, little things began to happen. I suddenly wasn't allowed to attend the department head meetings anymore, so everyone typed up their notes for me to enter into a newsletter. (When they got around to it, that is.) Several of my duties were taken away from me, such as answering her phone for her or checking her email, or processing her mail as I had always done. When I asked why, I was told that she had something else in mind. (what else does an assistant do unless she assists???) None of the new duties ever came about. Then, I was accused of messing up reports that were pulled from a computer system. (how can I mess up what the computer pulls???) I was told to change things I couldn't change because bossie didn't understand that I wasn't in the right department to make those changes and didn't have the authority. When I attempted to explain this to her, I got lectured for my 'insubordination'. It escalated to the point that certain things were asked of me that I was very uncomfortable with professsionally and personally, and I refused to do them. Suddenly, I found myself accused of terrible things I didn't do. I had attempted in the previous 2 weeks to make an appointment with her to discuss this growing problem, but was told, get with her tomorrow and set up a time. I never got in to see her like everyone else did, although she has an 'open door policy'.

I was finally pushed to the point that I got up and walked out a couple of weeks ago. Now, I'm having a heck of a time finding another job because of the job market. No matter how bad it gets, if a boss is trying to make you feel useless or inadequate like mine did, chances are it's not you, but it's the boss projecting his/her inadequacies upon you and blaming you for them. Try not to take it personally. They just need a scape goat. Find another job while you still have this one. You are better than that and deserve better than what you're getting.

Another way that my boss enjoyed harrassing me was by email. (I just happen to have forwarded any questionable ones to my home email account for safekeeping.) They just happen to be a nice hard copy of what was discussed previously. If your boss won't sign a paper with the details, perhaps he'll communicate with you through email on items like that, such as...regarding the conversation of this morning, I would like to verify that I have no misunderstandings of what is expected..... Gives him room and time to think it through before he responds to you. Gives you a hardcopy of his decision so if he changes his mind, you can forward a copy back to him to say....lookie here.... A standard word of caution here...BEWARE of email. They can trap you as easily as they can trap him. Write them carefully and use them sparingly! But they sure do save a lot of trees in instances like this. :-)

Best of luck in this!
CC