Message #4167

[andrea843]

Manipultion is an ugly thing and you my friend are getting a royal dose of it. I've thought about your post for a few minutes in order to avoid my gut reaction which was to tell you to dust off your resume and get the heck out of dodge.



First,  you are attempting to walk a tightrope that's being continually twanged by the powers above you. Your arms flail and you're fighting to keep your balance, and JUST when you begin to stablize someone comes along and twangs that sucker again, just to watch you dance.  Stop it.  Do NOT allow this backbiting to affect your ability to do your job.  Which ever person hired you may or may NOT be your boss.  Determine who YOUR actual boss is and work for that individual.  And begin redirecting those conflicting orders.



Once you've figured out who your actual boss is, scedule a meeting.  Explain that you're being pulled in two directions and that you are not productive because of it. Further explain how you intend to handle the situation AND ask for input, but stand your ground.  A "too bad that's the way it is around here" response will tell you whether you really DO need to dust off that resume.



When boss 2 gives you orders contrary to boss 1, redirect him/her.  "Im sorry Joe, but Pete has me working on this.  If you'd like to clear this with him, I'm sure i can find a way to accomodate you" Be calm and watch the body language while making this statement.  This needs to be the most bland, non accusatory statement you've EVER made in your life and even so, it's going to cause you problems.



There's a power struggle going on here and you are caught firmly in the middle of it, and trouble is,, even though you've attempted to set things right, you ARE playing the game,whether you like to admit it or not.  You're trying to make everyone happy in order to preserve your job, and Shannon, it won't work.  We can not make everyone happy all the time, no matter how badly we want to, and everyone will NOT like us, no matter how hard we try to make them do it.



Let go of some of the stress, decide that you ARE a professional and fully capable of letting go of this job if bossies don't get their ducks in a row and get that resume out to a few agencies so that you KNOW you have options.



Feeling trapped is no place of power and you need to find some personal power here, or decide that you WANT to be a pawn in a silly, non productive game of "Im in charge of the Admin".



My four  and a half pence

Andrea