Message #68761

[Katie G]

Georgie -- I'll break your post down into the three questions, because I think they're slightly different issues.

Head in hand -- I'd say it depends on the situation.  While under ideal circumstances you'd want your leader to show calm and confidence at all times, sometimes things are just So Messed Up (usually from things out of the control of anyone present) that it can be reassuring to see your leader equally frustrated.  We have a situation like that here at present and after months of platitudes and glossing over ugly truths, Big Boss FINALLY admitted to what we all knew in our gut.  While the news wasn't good, it was helpful to know that we weren't crazy...  

That being said, I'd be far less concerned over someone putting his head in his hand for a moment to either express frustration or collect one's thoughts than I would be over someone having a full-blown temper tantrum with shouting and screaming.  (I've seen that too and it ain't pretty.)

Lack of respect -- Well, once it's lost, it's hard to get back.  Some people prefer a more casual tone in meetings where it's thought that freely exchaning ideas and viewpoints is beneficial.  Of course, that depends on the purpose of the meeting.  A creative brainstorming session is going to have a different feel than a quarterly sales meeting when the numbers aren't good.  

Is there any hope? -- Maybe, but it usually means taking drastic action which can be painful and unpleasant.  If a boss "suddenly" changes tone and attitude towards the team, the team can end up feeling hurt and betrayed.  ("We were allowed to say what we thought and now we're being shut down!")  ("He doesn't care what we think anymore.")

As far as what you can do as an admin, it's really your director's place and prerogative to establish the tone in meetings, but you can model appropriate behavior and treat him/her with the respect the person and position deserves.