Message #77262

[Brighton Rock]

Countrigal,

I'm afraid I have seen a similar situation replicated even in my current company.

There are lots of issues here, which you are best placed to know.  For instance, your labour laws are very different to those in the United Kingdom, where I am based.  In USA you have, in most States, "At Will" contracts, so I guess you have to step carefully here. 

Another issue is the green-eyed monster.  Once you step out of the ranks of "just another employee", you can be seen as a threat to other people, and much more so if you have been promoted within the company.  Having chosen to go back to being "just another employee" and choosing to set boundaries about the time-contribution you can make to your work, you may be perceived as not being quite committed enough.  There seems to be a culture of presenteeism.

Your colleague's behaviour may simply be a result of character (I would perceive this individual as not being personable) or pressure is being put on this person from above and the behaviour shown is a knock-on effect of that.  However, presenteeism is never a good way to run a business, and any company that runs along those lines should probably take a reality check and maybe consider not being in business at all.  People have lives and external commitments.  I firmly believe that what you do outside work (Scout leader, church choir member, mom etc) is at least as important as what you do in work.

What you do about this is a difficult thing partly because of your labour laws - you want to keep that job - and partly because you don't want to damage your chances for the future.

Action plan - you need one.  Talking to this person direct will probably not be very productive.  That The first thing you do is to keep a diary of any interaction with or challenging behaviour by this person, including notes of conversations and copies of emails.  Secondly, you might consider discussing this in confidence with your manager or HR people at this stage, or hang in there until you have managed to compile your diary for two or three weeks.  I would begin this sort of diary with a catch-up statement noting that you are keeping the diary because you have concerns about the way this individual is treating you. 

I remember you, CG, from way back here on DeskDemon, as someone who is very conscientious and diligent.  I am so sorry about this situation; it must be awful for you.  I