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ozbound
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« on: October 05, 2000, 12:55:08 am » |
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Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
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What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage,
along with a recipe.
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How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
begins
'Y'all ain't gonna believe this...
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Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end some
CALIFORNIAN would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
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Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.
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The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by those who
got there first.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
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Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
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When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a
moray!
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
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It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
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The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
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When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
THIS POST EDITED FOR CONTENT For the Following Reasons: Portions Contributed to stereotypical representations of ethnic groups. POSTER if you have questions about the edit, please feel free to email Admin@administrative-assistants.com
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