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Atlanta Z3
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« on: July 09, 2012, 06:14:25 pm » |
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My mother in law passed away after a long battle with a CREST disease. She is in a much better place and will be greatly missed. My dh is the executor of the estate.
My take a way has been to spend more time with my parents (both living) and to get their affairs in order (both over 85). Oh my word the amount of stuff that had to be done - my hubby the great organizer sent all his siblings off on different errands to keep them busy and not overwhelm himself. It made me realize I'm going to have to do all that by myself. Within the next few months I'm going to get all the information gathered in one place and specifically make sure I am a signer on their bank account - biggest headache for hubby with a power of attorney and will the bank would not grant him access. I applaud their security but not their staff in compassion. The bank would only accept a certified original power of attorney for access. Of course we couldn't find the original between attorneys and financial planners. (All he wanted to do was CLOSE the account.) And in case you are wondering about the detail of my hubby he even returned his mother's library card to enusre there weren't any fines or missing books.
So to anyone who will be handling parents affairs, prepare and organize now.
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msmarieh
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« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2012, 07:17:22 pm » |
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So sorry for your loss Atlanta,
My parents are both gone now, but I well remember this process. Fortunately I am from a large family so many hands were available to help.
Hubby's father passed quite unexpectedly last year. We are already taking steps to prepare for his mother, though hopefully she has many decades ahead of her. He is the only son and only has one sister, so much of it will fall to him when the time comes.
You are right though, there were a million things to do.
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JessW
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« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2012, 09:20:29 am » |
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Atlanta, my thoughts go out to you and you dh for this loss. I know how that feels - my dh's father died 2 weeks ago, and was buried the following day.
Also, there have been quite a few (more than 6 to date) people in the office who have lost parents just since January and they all say the same thing - you have to have multiple originals of every conceivable form and authorisation (including death certificates) at hand because nobody accepts even authenticated copies any more (jobsworths!). Red tape gone mad!
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Sunflower
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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2012, 03:06:24 pm » |
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So sorry for your loss Atlanta and you too Jess.
Good advice. Last thing anyone needs is to be bogged down with official paperwork and jobsworths at such a difficult time.
Am surprised Richard Branson or someone hasn't set up a company to deal with all the paperwork required - leaving you to deal with only the necessary and just sign paperwork as and when. Actually wonder if the funeral people could offer a service like that, but guess because it's all legal docs though it would be a nightmare.
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countrigal
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« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2012, 03:13:49 pm » |
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So sorry for your loss Atlanta. This is definitely one of those issues that no one wants to look at or deal with until it's put in front of them. Good ideas provided, and I'll put those to use in my world too.
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Jackie G
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« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2012, 04:07:19 pm » |
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Condolences Atlanta, sorry this wasn't posted sooner but a glitch at work kept hanging DD on me!
Yes,it would be great if someone could deal with all the paperwork and it's a lot more now than it ever used to be, I should imagine. I do know that when my dad died (I was 20), I ended up doing all that as my mum and wee sister were in no fit state to do it. I found it hard to do but at the same time, it gave me something to concentrate on so maybe that's why we have to do this stuff ourselves!
I have now put in place my will and given my sister my Power of Attorney. This will give her full rights over my complete wellbeing should I become incapacitated through dementia or other illness, and in the event of my death, she can deal with my financial affairs too. This is about to be registered with the PoA folk and a copy will be held there, in my solicitors office, and each of my PoAs (2 lawyers who have half rights as well as my sister) each has a copy. The only person who doesn't have a copy (although I have the draft) is me!
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« Last Edit: July 10, 2012, 04:09:13 pm by Jackie G »
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diamondlady
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« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2012, 08:09:49 pm » |
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Condolences as well Atlanta....only thing I can add to Jackies posting is make sure you have a will, health care proxy and power of attorney all set up. I also added my brother as my power of attorney and health care proxy. It's a terrible thing to put on someone to do but it's also a piece of mind knowing the right decisions will be made in a very difficult situation.
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