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kohinoor
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« on: October 23, 2001, 08:28:54 am » |
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Don't know if you had this one here before:
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement
has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.'
Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'.
This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
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countrigal
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« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2001, 08:35:50 am » |
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I liked that... never heard it before. or should I say: I likd zat...never herd it befor.
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whitesatin
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« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2001, 10:09:05 am » |
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Dat iz hizterikl!
WhiteSatin
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phoenix55
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« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2001, 01:44:10 pm » |
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Kute (or kut?)!
Karen (aka Feniks55)
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dragonladybug
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« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2001, 03:27:34 pm » |
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The first time I saw this about 10 or 15 years ago, it was passed around as a new Siemens procedure. Being a German company that operates worldwide, this fit right in with the saying we have that "there is a right way, a wrong way, and a Siemens way".
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jomitchell
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« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2001, 03:30:38 pm » |
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Homer: "Son, there's a right way, a wrong way and the Max Power way." Bart: "What's the Max Power way?" Homer: "Like the wrong way, but faster!"  |
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