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andream
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« on: May 03, 2004, 10:23:04 am » |
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A DeskDemon UK user wrote to me and asked if we can feature her question in sound off this week. It's a thought provoking one too.
Would you work with your partner?
Are any of you out there working for or with your significant others? What were/are the results of that for you?
Taking it to the next level of thought this rainy London morning, I have to ask, would you date someone in the workplace? AMA recently shared with DD users a survey which came from managers last year and which gave some interesting responses to that very question. So for this week it's about partners and dating in the workplace.
What's your take?
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sobriquetnic
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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2004, 02:45:36 pm » |
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Hi Andrea
I am now engaged to the lovely young man that took over my previous job in our company!
Whilst we work together in the same smallish office and live together too, it doesn't seem to prove too much of a problem. For us, the pro's are as follows:-
* Sharing a lift and only needing one car
* Knowing what sort of a day the other has had, and why therefore they might be a little stressed in the evening
* Spending lunch hours together
* Being able to get a genuine take on what's important in your work life
The con's:-
* You really have to avoid snapping at each other following a row!
* I'm sometimes a bit tougher on my partner than others in the office as I know I can get away with it!
And of course, you don't really get a break from each other! However, we're so used to it now that it hasn't proved too difficult in that way.
I of course cannot tell my partner certain things as due to my job I find out a lot of things before he does - but he fully understands this and never puts me in an awkward situation.
It was a bit difficult at first when people were suspecting that we were in a relationship (we kept it quiet at first) but now that everyone knows, they all seem to be really happy for us.
I'm very interested to see what other's thoughts on this will be.
All the best,
Nicola.
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unique
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« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2004, 09:25:27 pm » |
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NO - I would not work with my partner. It would be very unlikely our paths would cross anyhow. Even if it were possible, I think it would never work. In my workplace it has always been discouraged for family members to work in the same office, although this would not be a factor if someone applied for work - just a preference. NO - I would not date someone in my workplace - have you seen them? Seriously though, I would not - never a good idea IMHO. Look forward to hearing others replies.  Pam
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countrigal
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« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2004, 09:44:27 pm » |
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My best work experience has been when my husband and I worked at the same location. We didn't work in the same office, but worked just down the hall from each other, but not in offices that worked closely or anything. Not that we couldn't, but just that we didn't. Like the other poster, it was nice to be able to go to lunch together, drive to and from work together, understand the type of day each other had, etc.
Only negative that I can recall was if one of us got off early and the other didn't. But that was so infrequent as to not be a problem. Since hubby is military and I'm civilian, there wasn't a problem with anyone else that we were married and working in the same locale. Of course, where we were at the time made it almost impossible for us not to if we were both going to be working. I do know that we both miss the closeness we had then and it's been quite a change for us since moving to AR and then to AL.
As for ever working for him or with him again... definitely. I'm looking forward to when he gets out of the military. He's looking at starting up his own business and I"m looking forward to being able to help him, even if it's only after my regular day job. Ultimately, we'd both love to be "retired" and working in our own business together. Since I don't see that happening anytime soon, we'll just do what we can together as much as possible.
CountriGal
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gee4
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« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2004, 08:57:51 am » |
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No I would never work with my current partner - however if I happened to meet someone in work providing we worked in different departments I would be happy to date someone providing it didn't interfere with my own work or career.
I know several people who met in work and we have one couple who work in my current company who started going out 6 months ago. For the first 3 months they kept it quiet as she is a direct line manager to our Director.
G
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hgray
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« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2004, 09:00:50 am » |
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I work in the same company as my partner - big company, big office. I initially was a little cautious as I never thought working in the same environment would be a good thing - plus I work for senior management and as Nicola said I always know what's happening or about to happen. However, it's just establishing a "professional" boundary I suppose - he doesn't ask me questions which he knows I can't answer. I don't feel any pressure cause we work together - our colleagues are happy, we are too, it doesn't stop me doing my job properly. So far so good !!  Helen |
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tinkerbell
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« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2004, 01:51:23 pm » |
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I would certainly not work with my partner - we have enough trouble coping when he is directing and I’m choreographing in our am dram group! Artistic differences, I guess!
I’ve dated colleagues in other departments in the past, although not in an office environment, and although things weren't serious, when things did go wrong, it caused an atmosphere and ruined the friendship we once had.
I guess being in different departments helps, the bigger the company the better and you both have to be professional about it as said in the previous posts.
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jlamont
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Posts: 7
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« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2004, 05:07:51 pm » |
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Hi I met my partner at work 10 years ago. We set up a business together and worked very closely on projects for most of those 10 years. It is great because you can bounce ideas off each other, look at situations from a different point of view, argue things out and know that I am always right!! ( well sometimes). You can understand each others emotions/feelings and pressures and have a good glass of wine with your favourite colleague at the end of the day. You have to know when to switch off the "at work head" though - a skill that takes a long time to achieve. John and I recently stopped working together and I miss it loads. I know that we will work together again because we are a great team whose skills compliment each other. JL Edited by jlamont on 04/05/04 05:08 PM. |
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bethalize
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« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2004, 10:05:22 am » |
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My partner and I actually talked about both of us working at the same company a year back when there was a job at his company that I like. First, I didn't want to cramp his style. I think (some) people need their own space, their own friends. Secondly, I don't want to have to related to him in a professional capacity. Thirdly and most importantly, we didn't think it was a good idea to put all our financial eggs in one basket.
Bethalize
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supergirl
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« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2004, 01:07:29 pm » |
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Those are very good points. From reading everyone's comments, it sounds like the situation is workable when you have met your partner on the job, and you plan out how to handle the situation. Perhaps it's harder when you are already in a relationship, with habits and ways of relating to each other, and then try to work together.
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