Week of May 10th- Handling Criticism

[andream]

There’s that secret part of us that likes to be right.  What do you tell your secret self when you’ve been proven wrong? What steps do you take when you have to hear from the bossie du jour that he’s not a happy camper? Sometimes that critical comment is justified, sometimes it’s all in the brain of the person doing the criticizing. How do you separate the two heads of the hydra? Do you get angry & express that anger? Stuff that anger into the dark recesses and go home and kick the dog instead?  Go silent and stew? Decide it’s a productive process and take notes and learn lessons? What happens to you when you are either rightly or wrongly…criticized?

Do Tell….
Andrea

[gee4]

I have to admit I would rather have some kind of feedback than none at all.  Sitting at your desk wondering if you are doing a good job without any indication from your boss, is not healthy.  If I was wrongly criticised I would try and find out all the information, who is doing the criticising etc and try and ascertain what went wrong and how to fix it.  After all you cannot grow and develop your career if things are not right along the way.  It's better to receive guidance and help along the way so we can change things for the future.

G

[supergirl]

I am a perfectionist who hates making mistakes.  I am also human, and make plenty of them--mostly small, but sometimes large.  The way I  handle it is to try to admit errors up front, right away, to myself as well as to those around me.  That seems to defuse the situation for me.  I still get mad at myself, but at least I know I don't come off as thinking I'm always right.  And, if I can learn to avoid that mistake again, I'm one step closer to perfect, right?  LOL!

My biggest mistake recently:  I was running copies of a new report form that we'll be using this year.  It was designed in-house (but not by me).  Three of us looked it over before I started the copies.  After running a ream of EXPENSIVE paper through the machine, I picked up a copy and noticed there was a capitalization error--a GLARING capitalization error--that I (and the others) had somehow missed.  I was so upset with myself, and I handled it by subtracting a couple of overtime hours from my time sheet.  I didn't have to, but doing that helped me to sleep that night.

[raindance]

None of us enjoys being criticized, least of all me.  However, I "welcome" constructive criticism.  If I have done something wrong, then I apologize.  If I can fix it, I do.  If I can't fix it this time round, I don't do it again.  If I am being unfairly criticized, then I do my research (if needed) and say so.  

I don't beat myself up when I have been criticized - I prefer to try to learn from my mistakes and move on.  Life is just too short to do otherwise.

Raindance

[countrigal]

Having been in this position recently, I know only too well what I do.  I get upset (hey, I'm human and being occused wrongly never sits well) but then try to see what I can learn from it.  If I make mistakes, I'm always first to admit it (if I know it and see it).  If I don't think I made a mistake, I'll stick to my guns until proven otherwise, and then apologise and learn from that.  (hey, sometimes you just know you did what you were told to, in the way you were told, but might have missed a simple step and not realised it.  Again, human frailty.  I try to keep it to a minimum but it does happen.)  Having just sat through a very negative meeting with my supervisor, I dealt with many of the scenarios that Andrea mentioned... and ended up doing very well overall.  I took notes of areas that I need to improve (whether I realised it before I met with her or not), queried her for more information on an issue that I was told I had lied about - and learned lessons from that, and admitted the mistakes that I did make that were pointed out to me.  Hopefully I've gotten something very positive from this experience and can improve myself and get to where I don't have those type of discussions with her again -- or at least not for a while.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[tinkerbell]

Unfortunately I just can’t help leaping to the defensive!  I haven’t yet learnt the art of listening to the evidence and keeping my mouth shut before trying to justify my actions.  I'm on a continual learning curve though and will note the comments of others here!  Fortunately I work in a no-blame culture at the moment with an approachable boss so feel I can hold my hand up without too much intimidation or loss of face.  It's never easy to receive criticism, particularly when you try and be as professional as you can most of the time, but its made easier when you respect the critic and their opinion and how they say it is important.

Supergirl I think your mad by subtracting your overtime hours!  But I can understand your thinking ...

[beaintheuk]

I feel I need a presonality transplant these days!  I have been criticised for being too hasty, but how do you change the way you are.  On one hand my boss appreciates this because things get done in time, but on another he wants me to slow down.  I said I'll work on it.  However I feel this kind of criticism is hard to deal with as it affects the person I am and the way I act.  Nevertheless I am trying to slow down...

I don't mind critcism on my work - if I have made a mistake I would rather know.  My boss is quite honest in telling me if something needs correcting.  The only thing that bothers me is when he thinks I did wrong when, after checking, it turns out he didn't give the correct info, etc, but the blame falls on me.  I take it in my stride when this happens.

Bea

[gee4]

It happens to us all bea.  However I have always worked to deadlines in previous jobs/companies.  Therefore I clear my work very quickly cos you never know when the next big job is coming your way.  I would try and do what he says for his sake, altho I know where you are coming from as I love being tasked with various things and handling them all at once - it's really how I function best!

G

[supergirl]

"Supergirl I think your mad"

Tinkerbell, you're the first one here who has noticed (or said it aloud)!      Seriously, I was able to let go of the mistake after doing that, and a good night's sleep was worth a couple of bucks to me. My office is also "no-blame;" the only blame was coming from ME.

SG

[gee4]

SG - I noticed but did not post a reply.  You were not the only one who missed the mistake so why punish yourself?

G

[radaro]

I think it depends on how the criticism is presented to me.  If I'm chewed out in front of a large group of collegues, I become silent and request a separate meeting (and will likely cry quietly in the bathroom at some point).  If the criticism is presented to me in a private meeting, it's a whole different story.  But like the others, I think I am my own worse critic!

[supergirl]

Gee, I didn't look at it as punishment.  I took responsibility for the incident.  

[sobriquetnic]

Like others, I am keen to learn from any errors that I make and my boss is very good at pointing out things in a good way that still enables me to retain a little bit of pride!

Of course we all make mistakes, and in a business world these have to be pointed out as sometimes they can be costly.

I do get defensive too though if I think someone is just criticising for the sake of it!  I do have colleagues who express their feelings on a bad day by picking faults with just about everything - but you get used to it and just smile sweetly (to their face anyway!).

All the best,
Nicola.