Sharing Information!

[emd_22]

I have posted on here before that my boss is moving on.  I found this out just before Christmas, when I was sorting his e-mails.  However he has still not told me about this.  Which I find very rude, especially as he must know I know as when I check the messages I move them into the relevant folders.  

Towards the end of last year I got in a bit of a state and as he had suggested that I might try for the other jobs in the department and I thought that my job might be going.  However one of my colleagues (lets call her Jane to make this easier!) has told me what will happen.  That he will move on and also told me who would be taking over!  I realise that this is something she should not have done however I am grateful that she did, as he is obviously not going to tell me.  Is this normal??  I have worked for him indirectly and directly for about 11 years! And thought he should know that I could be trusted.

Anyway, Jane and I discussed various things about the two jobs in confidence as she is planning to go for one of the other jobs in the department and she shared information she had found out from the head of the department on what admin support would be sorted with the other role.  

However I have now found out that another admin lady in my department is planning to go on a trip to an exhibition with ‘Jane’.  I may be being paranoid!  But I don’t want the other girl to know about what has gone on, as she is not able to keep things confidential.  She tells people in the section things that I would not have passed on to others and has also told me several confidential things about her boss that she should not really have done.  I don’t ask her for this information she just tells me!  I don’t know if I should warn ‘Jane’ about the fact that she passes on information (and lies about things) or just leave it and let her find out for herself.

Thanks

Liz

[raindance]

Best not to get involved in this one - gossip can be dangerous.  You can't control what other people say, anyway.  If someone tells you something that they should not be repeating then you could take the lead and say "I don't think you should be telling me this".  Alternatively you can always thank them for the information and ask them what they want you to do with it.   I have found that both of these responses usually stop people in their tracks.

Most admins, particularly those in senior positions, get to know a great deal of confidential information and I always think that repeating it to one's colleagues is highly inappropriate.  

As far as your boss is concerned, you can always approach him and say that you found such-and-such an email amongst his emails, you appreciate he may not wish to discuss this with you but you think he ought to know that you are aware he is leaving.  This gives him the opportunity to say something or nothing.

When my last boss was planning to leave, I found out through an email that was copied to me in error.  She didn't get that post, but she made sure she told me first when she was eventually successful in her search for new work.

Hope this helps.

Regards,

Raindance

[gee4]

That happened to me a few years back.  My boss was a really nice guy and a lot of staff were being headhunted him being one.  I too seen via an email that he was leaving and I just asked him straight.  The reason he didn't tell me was that it was confidential where he was going and he did not want people knowing so I guess that is fair enough.

My opinion on the 'Jane' thing, never talk about something that you don't want anyone else to know or have repeated.  Everyone thrives on gossip in the workplace and believe me, it will get around even if it is repeated in the nicest most innocent way eg. oh did you hear/yes I was surprised.  

G

[sobriquetnic]

Hi Liz

I agree with Raindance and G that you should approach your boss and ask him straight out.  There may be a good reason that he has not yet confided in you directly.

A few years back, there were a lot of rumours going around that our Head Office was to be relocated.  I knew what an effect this would have on our working environment.  He had not told me because certain things were not set in stone but when I did go and see him, he was very honest with me and was able to appreciate my concerns.

I wouldn't get involved in the office gossip.  Just try and remain 'professionally aloof' as you never know when an innocent comment is going to be repeated and taken out of context.

All the best to you, and keep us 'posted'.

Nicola.

[bethalize]

Agree with Nicola. My boss didn't tell me something once and I was very cross - but he was truly under the impression that no one else knew. Of course, the senior staff he told were no better at keeping secrets!

Bethalize
Peer Moderator

[emd_22]

Thanks for all the comments/suggestions.  It has been very helpful to know I am not alone in this sort of situation.

Looking back on what I said to Jane.  I don’t really feel have anything to hide, as what I said to her was mainly that I was disappointed with the fact that it appeared that I wasn’t trusted.  Also that my boss had suggested that I went for one of the other jobs and that I wasn’t too keen etc so this had made me concerned for my job.  My previous manager was very open about things and told me of his move about 3 months before it happened.  It’s amazing how different managers can be.

Before Christmas when my boss spoke to me about one of the jobs I tried to lead the conversation around to what was happening with him to give him a chance to tell me about this of his own accord.  However he just changed the subject.  I realise that sometimes you can’t tell other people about things.  He is not leaving the company just going on an International Assignment, which can be for up to 5 years.  However I believe that it is almost up to the stage when contracts are being negotiated etc so I think it’s getting near completion.  I will try to raise this with him again to see what response I get.

I am concerned for Jane as it’s not easy when someone betrays a confidence.  I am, I believe, a very trusting person and often give people the benefit of the doubt even if I have heard comments about them before meeting them, as you can’t get on with everyone!  I also don’t normally talk to others about how my job is going, but it was a difficult time as my boss wasn’t around and when I did ask questions he avoided them.  I think I will have to learn from this experience.

Raindance – Thank you for the useful suggestions.  I always feel awkward in these situations when people tell me ‘gossip’ so the suggestions you made will come in useful.

Many thanks

Liz

[countrigal]

Sounds like you have received lots of good information.  My input is to let Jane know what your impression of this other co-worker is.  Do it tactfully.  I speak from experience.  My office handles tons of confidential information, and not just boss's calendars and e-mails either.  I tend not to talk to anyone about any of it, unless they are my co-worker or direct boss who both have a direct need-to-know.  Any other personnel in our office don't get anything from me.  But it's nice to know that who you are talking with is trustworthy if there is something that you need to get a second opinion on.  If I type up a document and need a 2nd set of eyes to review it, and my co-worker is absent (or retired, as she is now), then I have to know who I can go to for that confidential 2nd review.  Knowing who is and who is not real good at keeping mum helps.

If you don't think Jane will say anything that shouldn't be passed along, you could probably keep quiet.  But if you think there is a chance, and not just about the discussion between y'all but about other items too, then just drop a quiet bug in her ear that this 3rd person isn't the most confidential of employees.  Do it tactfully, perhaps first enquiring if she is familiar with this person or not as Jane may already be aware of her inability to keep quiet, but letting her know that this 3rd person might not be as trustworthy as we'd all love to be.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[emd_22]

I have just had my performance review which I always find frustrating and demotivating process.  No matter how hard I seem to work or what I try to do, my manager seems to pick on something!  Maybe he’s afraid if I do a good job then I won’t make the effort anymore, he obviously doesn’t know me very well.

My feedback has been good again this year and I am pleased with this.  However he has now come up with the idea that I need to have more presentation skills training.  Quite frankly I feel that this is a complete waste of time as I have been on this course twice before and in my current role we never normally need to present anything.

Has anyone else had experience of being put forward for things like this?  Does anyone know of any other courses I could suggest instead of this which may be more relevant?

He seems to think I lack confidence and don’t want to promote myself.  This may be true but, if I am allowed to say this, I am reasonably happy with what I am doing and don’t want to progress to the next level as it doesn’t offer the variety of work my current job does and possibly involves management, a stressful job I could do without!

I know I am not naturally talkative in a group but feel that if I don’t have anything useful to add why should I just waffle for the sake of it.  I feel like I am being bullied into doing things that I don’t want to do!

He also sprung a surprise on me that I hadn’t expected that he thought I would add more input into a system, which was being set up.  I was amazed at this as due to the fact the system is science based and I do not have a science background how could he possibly expect me to input into something like that.  

I also tried to bring up the fact about his move and was effectively cut off in mid flow!  Maybe I need to be more forceful but to be quite honest I have come to the conclusion that the sooner he moves the better from my point of view as quite frankly I’m fed up with the whole situation.  I don’t really want to move on and we have no jobs going internally that I could go for but am beginning to wish I had sorted something out and not stayed here.  I’m not sure if it pays to stay a long time with one company.  I have been here 15 years this June!

Liz