stupid stupid fear

[smallfry]

Hey ladys (and gents)

Im sat at my computer but am unable to work because i need to get something off my chest, and im gonna do it here coz maybe, just maybe someone out there has the same ridiculous fear i do, and that might make me feel a little better...

I have a growing clump of anxiety growing in my chest, getting bigger every hour, in morbid anticipation of ...going to the hairdressers tomorrow!!!!!

I absolutly hate going and im scared!

I have this social anxiety about it - because they always go - hmmmm, "and how long has it been since you had THIS cut?", and then frown and look repulsed as they swish their own perfect specimin hair around...

And they stand there so perfect and beautiful whilst i sit there all bedraggled and ugly with the lights glarring on my face making me look like golum.

And it usually takes about 50 mins, of agonising small talk and awkward silences, and stuff.....

ooooooooowwww i REALLY dont want to go

and then they charge you the earth! Mine is usually £35, which is like, $60 i spose, and they insist i have to go back sooner next time before it gets so dire again.

and then they swish off

Any body else have this fear, or is it just me being irrational? I wonder if it has a latin classification name? sallonophobia or something?

any hoo, feel a bit better now

thanks for listening xxx smallfry xxx

[officeguru]

Awww, I understand - getting my hair done is not something I look forward to doing either.  I wouldn't say I get myself as worked up as you say you do - but I do put it off weeks (which turn into months) past when I've been told I need to go back.  I dislike spending money on myself - and to me getting my hair done is just a huge waste of money.  I can never get my hair to look the same as they've styled it (not that I'm always fond of the style they decide is for me) and I don't like trying to make small talk.

I know I need to make an appt and get mine done - its now past the unmanageable stage and I feel like its always looking.... raggity (for lack of a better word).

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow... hope it goes okay for you.

**hugs**

[geminigirl]

Smallfry - I absolutely loved reading your post.  I am sitting here with a big grin  on my face!

The reason - my mother (who passed away three years ago) had the same fear.  She loathed going to the hairdressers with a vengeance - she'd far rather go to the dentist (which I hate, btw) than go to the hairdressers.

And she could never say why she hated going, because she did love to be pampered.

So, thanks very much for bringing a lovely funny memory back to me!

[gee4]

Sorry you feel that way.  I visit the hairdressers every 8-9 weeks so have no fear - I love it - it's my relaxation period!

G

[raindance]

Smallfry, you are not alone.  If your hairdresser is so challenging, I would find another.  I've "suffered", too, from bossy hairdressers, and am glad to have found one I can trust.

Here's a website to help you ...

www.virtualhaircare.com/virtual%20salon/salon%20visits/salonphobia.html

Raindance

[peana]

Me to.  

In fact I think I made a similar post in the past.  As I get older (and the stylists younger) I seem to be able to cope better - I just tell myself that I'm never going to look as gorgeous as them, but I've got loads more 'life experience'.  

Good luck!  It'll be over before you know it.  And another great thing about autumn... you can wear a hat if you hate it! (sorry - I'm sure it will be fine).

[spitfire78]

My hair is very thick and grows quickly, so I have regularly scheduled 6-week appointments.  I'm not fussy about style though - just short and easy to care for.  You should all go to my hairdresser!  She's 5 minutes from my front door.  Shop is in her basement and she works in sweatsuit and bare feet.  I am usually in and out of the door within 20 minutes.  A quick wash, then a snip, snip, snip, a blow dry and voila!  Frankly I can't stand spending time on my hair - there's always something else I would rather spend my time on.  I resent even the 3 minutes it takes me to blow dry it.  Much prefer the summer when I just wash and wear!!!!

[bethalize]

Darling, I know _exactly_ what you mean.

Hairdressers are like doctors - find one who doesn't patronise you and who listens and stick with them.

You sound like you could do with a second opinion!


Bethalize
Peer Moderator

[gee4]

Come on ladies, it's a pampering session not an operation!  I love my sessions at the hairdressers - only wish I could afford to go more often.

What is it you fear most...??

G

[fluffycatpa]

have to say I agree with gee, I go to the hairdressers every couple of months ( I probablyshould go more often), I normally get low lights & a trim.  I too hate making small talk with the stylists and often find myself chatting to the girls who bring me tea instead.

If your hairdresser makes you feel that uncomfortable, then it might be time to find a new one.

Good luck though and I'm sure your hair will look fab when its done.

PS, my mum hates going too, but loves her cut when she walks out!!!

[diamondlady]

I LOVE going to my hair dressers.  I've had the same one since high school and I don't know what I would do without her.  She even did my hair for my wedding day.  I get to go this Saturday and I have to say I'm already looking forward to visiting with her again.  Love chatting with her and catching up.  I'll have to find out how she's making out with her son and his family moving back home temporarily while they build their house.  He has a dog and a cat and a small baby and they are all moving back home to his mom and dad's while they build.  Should be interesting.

I LOVE getting the grey outta my hair and they eyebrows done.  Best $4 investment in myself I could do with my eyebrows!  And they color is an added bonus, makes me look that much younger.  Course with my dark hair, those grey really show through and I'm not even 40 yet and don't have kids, so don't know what my excuse is other than hereditary, LOL!  IT's a good social call as I get to go back to my hometown and usually there is someone in there I went to school with and can catch up with for a few minutes anyway.  

Only thing is now MIL goes with me when she gets a perm, so I don't have any down time to myself when that happens, but it's only once a year for her, so this weekend will be it til next October.  OH well, we all get  along fairly well anyway.

Diamondlady
Peer Moderator

[dettu]

It sounds like you're going to the wrong place. I have my hair cut pretty frequently (because it's short) and I shopped around until I found the right person to do it--right meaning she listens to me and behaves like a human being! She's funny and sweet, so kind that now my husband goes to her for haircuts too, and she charges under $30. I found her by asking other women with nice hair where they had it done.

[khoward]

I too am fearful of going to the hairdresser, even though I go regularly! Go figure!!!
I have curly hair, which suddenly appeared when I turned 40, and don't know what to do with it.  I just had it cut short, and in a bob, which I love on straight hair, but now have to work hard to maintain..........what was I thinking??
I am fearful because even though it is just hair, I had many, many stylists who did what they wanted, and I walked out looking like my head was a big pumpkin!!!!!
I totally get your fear, my heart is with you.
Best wishes for a great dooooooo!

[countrigal]

Ok, I have never feared a hairstylist, but I have been worried about what I would look like when they were done.  And as long as you have this fear (or in my case, the worry) then you need to continue looking for a hairdresser.  There are 3 names every woman should have in her contact list -- A good doctor, A good hairdresser, and A good friend.  No woman should ever be without these.  The doc should be someone you can talk to about any of your concerns over your  health, no matter how "sensitive" the issue.  The hairdresser should be someone you trust to do what YOU want with your hair, and who makes you feel pampered and respected while doing your hair, and is normally available for emergency "touch-ups" when needed for that funeral, wedding, or job interview that just popped up.  And the good friend is someone who may help you find both of those, but who is also there to listen to everything, eat chocolate with you (even if she's on a diet) when you're blue, and basically helps you see the best of yourself.

If you don't have these 3... get them!  If you have them, treat them well and enjoy.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[ozbound]

Well, honey, I agree with the others, in that if that's how your hairdresser makes you feel, it's time to look for a new one!
I mean, that's how I feel when I go to the DENTIST - belittled and bedraggled--I certainly don't want to feel that way when I'm supposed to be pampering myself!

On the $$ side, have you ever considered a beauty school? I've gone to them and they are actually pretty good, and definitely do not charge an arm and  a leg!  Come to think of it, I've gotta go there adn get my hair cut soon. I went on another "think-I'll-grow-it-out" jag and soon remembered that when it gets too long, it starts tangling and falling out in the shower! So, back to the bob. You'd think I'd learn!

And--hee hee--be glad you're not my SO, who joined the Nt'l. Guard and had to get his hair cut really super short--darned near shaved off, I'd say--and he HATES it, especially because he has big ears! (Well I think he still looks perfectly cute!)

Good luck!