How do you say No?

[susans]

This is a topic that is hard for many.  We all know there are only 24 hours in a day and at times need to say no to people who ask us for a favor, extra work, or a project over our heads.  Do you have any stories or techniques you use to say to others when are asked to do a project but just know you don't have time, it isn't something you should be doing, or something you just can't do?  How have you said "No" in the past?

I notice that if I ask a simple question for sound off such as "what is your favorite color", or "coffee, tea in the morning" we get tons of people responding, but when asking thought provoking question we tend to get only a few responses.  I urge you to chime in and share your experiences or tips to help.  

[gee4]

Something along the lines of....

1  I am rather busy with something right now but if you leave it with me I will address it later.
2. How urgent is it? I can certainly have a look at it in the morning but need to finish something right now for the boss.  
3. Could Joe Bloggs help you with it until I am finished with this job?

I learnt that just to say No is very abrupt and also shows lack of interest.  If you say you're busy but can address it at another time, that at least should convey a positive answer.

G

[queenbean]

I suppose I'm lucky because working for the MD means that no-one else's requests could possibly take priority, so I'm rarely put in the position of having to say no.  However, on the odd occasion that someone pushes their luck, I usually say that I'm on a deadline at the moment which has priority over everything else.  I wouldn't be able to look at your xxx until next week at the earliest, so it would be best to find someone else who can pick it up.

The best thing is to sound willing whilst at the same time pointing them in someone else's direction.

QB

[rowan]

I agree with Queenbean, I try to sound willing, while pointing them in anothers direction, but allso saying that if they do not find someone else come back to me and we can see what can be done. So in a way this is not really a no answer.
Rowan

[bluefire21]

I explain that I have X,Y and Z on my task list that have a higher priority, and I expect them to take (insert good amount of time here).  I then say that I will be more than happy to help, but that I don't think I can get around to their request until (insert much later time or later day in the week).  That will usually make them go away, but if they are willing to wait that long, then I'm willing to work on their request.

Ellen (You want me to do what? When?... You MUST be kiddding) in TX

[raindance]

Because of my post in my company, I am rarely asked for favours, extra work etc.  However, if there is a conflict of priority, I will always discuss it with my manager.  She's the CEO so ultimately, it's her decision.

When I was lower down the company food chain, I would always offer a solution or a compromise and, if required, offload onto my manager.  If a manager knows that A, B and C are important things, but decides that X is more important for the moment then it is clear that A, B and C have to wait until X is done.

Raindance

[countrigal]

I'm just honest.  I tell them that I'd love to take the job (if I really would) but that my other job requirements will prohibit me from helping until XXX time.  If it's really something I wouldn't want to do, I simply state that I'm working on other deadlines and could get to their work by XXX day/time and if they still want me to work on it, bring it to me then.  Either way, it shows me willing to help but also keeps me from drowning in work that I don't need or want.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[misslynn]

If it's just a person thinking they can pass onto me what they don't want to do, then I'll offer to show them how to do it (as a polite way of saying no). If they're insistant, I'll offer to check with my boss and see what he thinks of the task.  That usually deters those that are just being lazy.

For those that truly need help and I don't have time, I'll offer up a person who can help them or I'll let them know what my schedule looks like.  If they still want my assistance, I let them know when I would be able to address it, sometimes it's okay if it's not done right away.  If they try to press me to do it right now, the phrase, "I'm working on XXX for bossie, we can discuss it further when I'm done."  

Bossie has made it very clear that I am his assistant only.  Any help I provide to others is my own decision, I help them because I want to and because I have extra time.  He says it's their responsibility to build the relationship with me to where I want to help them.  I'm allowed to say no whenever I want to although I hate just saying "no", I really try to always provide an alternate solution.

[bluefire21]

I hate to say "No" also.  I will always try to help the person, even if it is just pointing them in the dircetion of someone else who can help.  I may need that person's help someday, and I'd hate make an enemy of someone who just needed a little help.  

Ellen ("NO"?  I've never heard of it) in TX

[movinonup]

When my job was extremely busy last year, one of the managers came to ask me if I''d join a new, recurring Six Sigma project meeting to take notes.  I was really taken aback, since I was only being asked because one of my associates was involved in the project.  At the time I was running every which way just to keep up with my own work, so I knew right away it wouldn't work out.  I told him I was not able to take on a new task right now, and that if he wanted me to do so, he would need to talk with my own off-site manager.  There was nobody else available to suggest as a replacement.

Later on, my own manager called and asked me what to tell this guy, and I repeated that I was too busy to handle it.  He sounded kind of annoyed, but you can only do so much. They ended up taking their own notes at the meetings.

I felt kind of bad for turning it down, as I really liked this other manager, but I saw no way around it.  


Movinonup

[imy]

Great topic!  I have such a hard time saying no and often end up saying yes instead - it drives me barmy!  I am learning though and find that saying 'I'm really busy right now but I could have a look later at xxx time' quite a good way as it isn't a direct 'no' and shows you're willing to help.