Santa was tired and ....

[lems]

'Twas the night before Xmas - old Santa was p*ssed
He cussed out the elves, and threw down his list
Miserable brats, ungrateful jerks
I've a good mind to scrap the whole damn works

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
My old lady bitches cos I work late at night
The elves want more money and the reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed up the maids
Donner is pregnant, Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things might get better
Those assholes from the tax office sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that aint damned funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?
and the children these days - they are all the pits
Ask the impossible, the mean little sh*ts

Spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling their dolls - arms, legs and heads
Made lots of yo yos but no one wants them
Just computers and robots - like I'm IBM

If you think all that's bad, just picture this:
Try holding those brats, their pants smell of p*ss
They pull on my nose, they grab at my beard
and if I don't smile, their mums think I'm weird

Here I'm flying along, dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job, there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

So Christmas is OFF - now you know the reason
Found me a blonde; I'm going South for the season
I'll laze in the sun, then into bed I'll be tucked
And those snotty-nosed brats...can go and get f...ed

[gee4]

Oooh, bah humbug then!!