Working with people you know

[susans]

Have you or someone you know worked with a close relative, spouse, sibling, parent..?  Many companies  prohibit people working in the same department, but smaller family run companies are based on working together.  What do you think about working with relatives?

[gee4]

Yes quite some years ago.

The company my cousin worked for were looking for an admin so I applied and got the job.  It was a temporary role and I didn't plan to stay long-term but it was fine as we worked in different offices and for different managers.

I was (and still am) close to this relative and we went to school together so there was no problem at all.

In the company I work for now, there are several married couples, who obviously met in work some years ago.  I guess it works for some people and others it doesn't.

[rose.winter1980]

I think that "family companies" can be heaven or hell - both for the employees and the relatives - depending on the nature of the relationships between the family members.  

We don't have any relatives working together in the place where I work now.  It's never come up, but in my last place the MD would not allow people to stay in the company (even though there was no written policy) who were cohabiting/engaged (!)/married.  


Winter Rose

Laugh long, sing loud and dance when you get the chance

[peaches2160]

Hubby works for a family run co.  It has its challenges.  They now prohibit the workers to be related since a few months ago one father got angry and walked out.  His son walked out too, in support of his dad.  The owners fired their brother in law at the same time.  Needless to day, it put a huge strain on the shop - (my husband) to keep things running until replacements were hired and trained.  we have a few married couples at work, but not as many as we used to.  I don't like the idea myself, too many "eggs in one basket" if you will.  

[gee4]

I know it's not ideal but you can't help who you meet and where.  Personally I don't see any issue.  People meet their partners in the strangest of places, and in the current climate we take work where we can - I should know.

[mlm668]

I have had differing experiences with working with people who were married/involved/related.

The first, was a small mom and pop company when I was 20.  I hated the job to begin with but when mom caught pop running around on her and started divorce proceedings, things got really tense around there.  I got out as soon as I could for many reason, that included.

The second was a job I was at for 4 years.  There was a couple who had dated, broke up and then eventually worked things out and got married.  They were fine to deal with since they did their best to keep personal issues out of the office.  I dated several co-workers during that timeframe.  There were issues that I did my best not to let affect my work and often we kept the relationship secret from co-workers because the "gossip" among the men could be intolerable.  I'm now seeing one of those men seriously again and am still friends with another.  I learned a lot from that experience and I now think long and hard before "expanding" my work relationships into my personal life.

The last was a family owned company that I worked at for 8 years.  For the most part it was a good job and a good experience but when there were disagreements between the brothers it could get tense - especially since Daddy always favored the older brother.  We also had a husband and wife outside the family working for the company for a while which caused even more tension between the brothers because younger brother's wife had worked for the company and he felt she had been pushed out after they married (they got together after she started working there).  From what I hear they still have issues even though they sold the business - big brother is control and little brother is just a worker bee now.  I miss the duties of that job but not the company.  And since I feel like I was misled by the family when the sale was going on about the security of my job and my place in the new structure, I definately don't miss them.

I don't personally have any issues with working with married/involved/related people but anyone considering a position in that kind of environment needs to be sure they can handle the drama that comes with it without getting pulled in and asked to take sides.  As long as the people remain pofessional, it can work.  Its when personal problems are brought to work that it can be a real drag on the morale of their co-workers.

Michelle

[JessW]

I used to work for a gentleman (long since dead) whose wife used to be his secretary.  That one worked out ok.

I also did my work experience at a large well-known confectioners based in York who, before they were taken over by the swiss firm, used to employ entire families, provided housing, schooling, health etc and that also worked very well!  It also meant if you did not have family working there already, then you did not really stand a fair chance of getting a job.

[gee4]

Jess that is where I have issues.  

In the past I have overheard managers saying to individuals, well we have a job coming up in x department, if you think you know someone who might fit the bill, then bla bla bla.  Very often siblings are recommended for vacancies if the currently employed sibling is liked and doing well.

It's the normal people like me who can't get a foot in the door because these jobs are already taken or set aside for someone else.

Fair employment?  I think not.

[Katie G]

Not in my adult life, but as an older teenager, I was pressured by my parents to see if I could get my younger sibling a job where I worked.  The problem was, the job in question was a lower position than the one I had and I didn't think my sibling's personality would take well to being "under" me.  

I was right.  Caused a LOT of tension at home.  

Additionally, sibling wasn't exactly a good match for the position.  Didn't like the conditions (stockroom), the hours (before the store opened), didn't like being told when to take a break, when to be back, etc.  As a result, sibling's performance wasn't exactly what they were expecting and, you guessed it, they wanted ME to "have a talk"  with sibling  Mind you, I was NOT sibling's supervisor.  In fact, I was in a totally different department.

I may have been a dumb kid up to this point in even allowing it all to happen (why didn't I just lie and say there were no jobs available?!?) but I wasn't so stupid as to put myself in THAT position.  I flatly refused to do their discipline and insisted that someone with some actual authority would have to deal with it.  

The upshot was that all hell broke loose at home that night after sibling's "talking to" and I ended up finding another job.  Sibling left job a month later.

Never again...

[eewc]

I met my husband many years ago while we both worked for an engineering firm of about 1,000 employees.  Even though we worked on the same floor, most people did not know we were a couple until we announced our engagement.  We were very careful with our behavior at work.  We worked in different departments which helped.  

Presently, my daughter and I work at the same company but in different departments.  We're on the same floor, but in different corners of the building.  Days go by when we don't see each other.  I did know in advance about the opening for the job which she has because it was posted internally.  I asked the hiring manager if he had anyone internal in mind for the position (he did not) before I informed my daughter of the opening.  From there, she did all of the legwork and testing.  I kept completely out of it and never even spoke to the hiring manager until after she was hired.  I did not want anyone saying I had any influence in her getting the job.  

There are several married couples as well as siblings who work in our company.  There is one other father/daughter situation, and they are also careful with their behavior.  Our company has a policy whereby relatives cannot work in the same department, which I think is a good idea.   I also agree that it's not a good idea for married couples to put all of their "eggs in one basket" especially in our present economy.

[Atlanta Z3]

I worked in a midsize architect firm where the senior partner's wife was an interior space designer.  She basically had her own business but used our office as a part time base - she worked from home more often.  That senario worked out fine, she didn't interfer in the business and any work she wanted done was usually a one off favor.
I have worked in offices where people dated and it usually was not pretty.  Everything is great in the honeymoon phase, then it gets ugly.  One starts tracking (stalking) the other's where abouts and their performance reflects their lack of attention.
I learned early on - don't dip your pen in company ink.  I also expanded that to apartment complexes when I lived in one.  I never wanted to quit a job or have to move over some guy!

[gee4]

Just for info and in case anyone is curious, the company in which my cousin worked where I was also employed for a short time, went through a hiring process for the vacancy.  He did not recommend me.  I applied for the job by my own merits and no-one knew we were related until after I started.  

[diamondlady]

I worked with my brother in the same office many years ago.  We had different hours and different Departments, but lived with my folks at the time.  We were both starting out in the working world.  I had a year ahead of him, but, unfortunatley when the business took a down-turn, as Receptionist, I was the lowest on the todem pole, and in the first-wave of layoffs.  A year later, my brother got cut from his department because he was the newest employee in that group.  He didn't even know I was out the door, and wondered why I didn't tell him I was leaving. I  had no opportunity, I was escorted out the door with my belongings on my dad's birthday and they took my passcard the same day.  All my paperwork was done ahead of time.  I think I was seen as a threat to another Secretary that had been there a long time.  But that's a whole nother thread.  Last I knew she retired from that postition a long time ago.  Good for her.  I'm in a much better position and very happy doing what I am doing.

Diamondlady
Peer Moderator

[mlm668]

Did,

Your situation is why I don't like to "recommend" people for jobs.  If they do poorly, it ends up being a reflection on the person making the recommendation.  

Just to note - I did "help" my son get a job once.  I was very careful with it because I know he has a lazy streak like me.  I asked a superintendent if he needed anyone and had my son complete the application and turn it in himself.  I let the superintendent know that was as much as I was doing.  If he had an opening and wanted to hire my son - great.  If he didn't, no hard feelings.  I didn't want him hired just because he was my son.  I was also clear that if he was hired, I expected him to be treated the same as any other summer hire - if he didn't perform, let him go.  It all worked out well.  My son was hired, performed well and learned that construction was not the place for him (I wanted him to see what he had to look forward to if he didn't get an education and the lesson was learned).

Michelle

[peaches2160]

My sister in law works for the same company I do. We are both long term employees, her 30+ and me almost 30, and this has never been an issue.  She is in another department and for the most part over the years has been in a different building.  However, when we were in the same building, we never saw each other.  At family gatherings, we do not even discuss the company.  Work is work and home is home.