Behaviour in Meetings

[oceangirl]

What do you do when your directors has his head in his hand in front of his management team.  Or when members of team staff have no respect for their line manger and the manager is treated as more of a mate than their boss?  Is there any hope?

Georgie Girl.

[gee4]

It sounds like respect was lost a long time ago for whatever reason that may be.  Any director needs to establish a level of authority to ensure his managers have his respect.  Very hard to restore if it has already got to that stage.
That's why I am not really personal with anyone senior than me.  I find a line is crossed and that's when relationships break down.

Perhaps this person is not director material and instead would prefer to be one of the boys.  

[Katie G]

Georgie -- I'll break your post down into the three questions, because I think they're slightly different issues.

Head in hand -- I'd say it depends on the situation.  While under ideal circumstances you'd want your leader to show calm and confidence at all times, sometimes things are just So Messed Up (usually from things out of the control of anyone present) that it can be reassuring to see your leader equally frustrated.  We have a situation like that here at present and after months of platitudes and glossing over ugly truths, Big Boss FINALLY admitted to what we all knew in our gut.  While the news wasn't good, it was helpful to know that we weren't crazy...  

That being said, I'd be far less concerned over someone putting his head in his hand for a moment to either express frustration or collect one's thoughts than I would be over someone having a full-blown temper tantrum with shouting and screaming.  (I've seen that too and it ain't pretty.)

Lack of respect -- Well, once it's lost, it's hard to get back.  Some people prefer a more casual tone in meetings where it's thought that freely exchaning ideas and viewpoints is beneficial.  Of course, that depends on the purpose of the meeting.  A creative brainstorming session is going to have a different feel than a quarterly sales meeting when the numbers aren't good.  

Is there any hope? -- Maybe, but it usually means taking drastic action which can be painful and unpleasant.  If a boss "suddenly" changes tone and attitude towards the team, the team can end up feeling hurt and betrayed.  ("We were allowed to say what we thought and now we're being shut down!")  ("He doesn't care what we think anymore.")

As far as what you can do as an admin, it's really your director's place and prerogative to establish the tone in meetings, but you can model appropriate behavior and treat him/her with the respect the person and position deserves.

[rose.winter1980]

Once people get out of hand, it's difficult to get them back into line, in my experience.  "Start as you mean to go on and never smile before Christmas" is quite a difficult thing to live with, but it can work.  

I think that nowadays respect and good manners are things that are almost ancient currency.  Young people think nothing at all of back-chatting and being downright rude.  I put it down to too much inappropriate television and bad parenting.  

It's a great pity because this country, the United Kingdom, was once a place where good manners were the norm.  

I'm showing my age here (!) but I find it quite extraordinary the sorts of behaviours I see whether it is in the office or on the internet.  In our Board of Directors meetings, we have recently had a management consultant come in to monitor and report on their behaviour.  His conclusions were that several directors should be censured.  Hello?  And these people are paid how much?

Winter Rose

Laugh long, sing loud and dance when you get the chance